To Live Again
by CalzonaJara
Summary: Callie and Arizona live their lives after Arizona's car crash. Sequel to "Another Chance"
1. Chapter 1

**All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.**

**A/N: Hello everyone! "Another Chance" got such positive reviews and requests for a sequel that I just had to start this one. I'm grateful to all of you who read the story, and who will continue with this one. I'm still working out where I want it to go, but I wanted this chapter in there for sure and considered it a good start. I hope you all like it!**

**A/N 2: I am still working on "The Aztec Queen" and will try to alternate between the two. I will try to get chapter 3 up by tomorrow. Thanks for reading!**

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><p>"Dr. Robbins! Welcome back! We've missed you around here!"<p>

"Thank you Anne; it's great to be back! I've missed you all too. I've also missed my kids; how have they been?" Arizona asked, smiling back at her favorite nurse.

"Well, some have seen improvements, but we've also lost a few. No doubt about it though, they've all been asking when Dr. Zona was coming back. The kids have missed you as well."

"Callie got me all of the cards they made me. I've wanted to come back and see them all but thought better of it. I knew I wouldn't have been able to stay away if I came back, and I wasn't ready. But now I'm all in; ready to start my rounds for the first time in quite a while and see all of my tiny humans. May I have the charts please?"

It was Arizona's first time back in the hospital, as a doctor, in 8 months. It'd been 8 long, excruciating months since the accident. The road to recovery had not been an easy one. Her fractures had taken different time periods to heal; though the ones that worried her the most were the ones that could keep her out of the OR for the rest of her life. She'd followed all the instructions and done exactly as she'd been told. The fact that she had Callie around her every day to keep an eye on her, though irritating at times throughout rehab, had been a blessing.

Callie had taken time off to care for Arizona while she was still unable to fully move around and through her first two weeks of rehab. She figured Arizona would need that emotional support and the encouragement since it was not going to be an easy recovery. Once she'd returned to work, she made sure to clear her surgical schedule while Arizona had her sessions so she could take her and be there through it all. It had been a grueling 6 months. Arizona would come home, at times incredibly irritated and upset at the slow pace of progress she was making. She wanted nothing but to get better; her kids needed her. After a few weeks she'd made a call to the Chief and he'd agreed to let Callie bring her charts and have the other doctors call her for consults. If she couldn't operate, if she couldn't spend time with her kids and cheer them up, she could at least give consults and try to help as best she could.

Callie had been there through it all. They were doing better than ever. Yes, they fought constantly, but both knew the reason behind their arguments were Arizona's feelings of helplessness at being unable to do anything else to speed her recovery and her fear of never being able to set foot in an OR again. Callie did her best to keep Arizona's spirits high. She made sure she stayed healthy and had everything she needed. Arizona in turn made sure she did everything she could to make Callie's life easier. The apartment was always spotless. She'd taken it upon herself to learn how to cook during all her free time and would have dinner on the table every night when her Calliope got home. She'd sit and listen to Callie tell her about her day at the hospital, the surgeries she'd done, the gossip mill, anything and everything she'd been missing out on. They'd waited until Arizona's body was completely healed to even try anything in the bedroom, and the wait had definitely been worth it. Being in each other's arms at night made their bond stronger, and those long and hard days apart bearable. They woke up, arms wrapped around the other day after day, and though they were going through a rough patch, they'd never been happier or more in love with the other.

The last part of Arizona's therapy included "operating" using the hospital's training equipment. It had taken many months of therapy to get her hand function back to 100%. She had regained full range and motion. There were times when she still had to deal with pain, and wondered if she'd have to deal with it for the rest of her life. She knew long surgeries were going to take some getting used to. Her leg fracture had been the easiest to deal with, since it was the least restricting when it came to her job. She had put in more hours in the skills lab than the interns or residents combined, and had performed surgery after surgery flawlessly for 1 month before she finally felt confident enough to return to her tiny humans.

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><p>Arizona went through rounds smoothly; getting smiles and hugs from all of her kids. It felt great to be back in her environment; this is where she belonged. She had a surgery scheduled at 3 p.m., her first since returning to work. It was a simple appendectomy, a surgery she could perform in her sleep since her days in med school; yet it would be different this time around. This surgery and this day would be special in more ways than one… she just hoped it went as planned.<p>

She went through the procedure time and again as she scrubbed in, nerves getting the better part of her. Callie had come to give her a pep talk and to wish her luck and was now in the gallery along with the rest of her friends to support her in this huge step back into her life.

The surgery was perfect, a huge success in everyone's eyes. Arizona had worked diligently on 9 year-old Sam from beginning to end. The moment she thanked everyone in the OR around her and called it a day, the gallery above erupted in celebration. Everyone could see the smile through her scrub mask, which she quickly removed before calling up to her girlfriend.

"Thank you everyone for your support. I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you; thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all mean so much to me; you're my family. I love you. Thank you for everything. Calliope, can you please come down here?" Arizona asked.

The attendings and residents above smiled and said their goodbyes; they would get the chance to congratulate Arizona later. They'd been filled in with what would be going on in the room below, and knew the blonde wanted some privacy.

Callie opened the door to the OR and walked straight into her girlfriend's waiting arms.

"Oh my God baby, you did it! I'm so happy for you! This was a huge success! I always knew you'd come back Arizona. I'm so happy for you my love." Callie said, leaning in and kissing her girlfriend.

"Thank you Calliope. It means so much to me that you were here for my first surgery back. Do you know which OR we're in?"

"Um… OR 5… why?"

"Well this isn't just any OR. I booked this one specifically for this surgery."

"Why?"

"This OR was the last one I was in; though the last time _I _was the one on the table."

"Oh… I didn't know you knew that."

"I had Alex fill me in. In fact, I've had all our friends fill me in on what happened those days. It was in this OR that you all performed surgery after surgery to get me to not just survive, but to get me to be myself again."

"Arizona…"

"Calliope please let me finish."

"Ok."

"I've heard time and again from my family, from all of our friends, just how hard you fought to fix me. Getting me to survive wasn't enough; you fought to have me have a chance to continue my career. That means more to me than you will ever know. I want to thank you for what you did for me then, and I want you to know that I will always be grateful for it. We had our problems then; not even being together, not even speaking to each other. I went to Africa, then I came back to have this happen, then to have you tell me you slept with Mark… it's all been one huge whirlwind of emotions, but you're still here. You've put up with my moods throughout my rehabilitation. You've been there every step of the way. I know that everyone here played a role in saving my life, but it is because of you that I'm standing here today, in this OR after my first surgery, happier than I've ever been in my life."

At this, Arizona pulled out a box out of her scrubs and got down on one knee.

"You gave me back my body, but it was the simple act of being you that gave me back my life. You give me a reason to keep fighting, to get better. These last few months have been the hardest of my life. They've also been the best of my life; because I've spent them with you. We've lived through a very difficult year, and I know that if we can survive that, we can survive anything as long as we're together. I didn't think it was possible that I could love you more than I did, but these last few months together have strengthened our bond, and I can honestly and unequivocally say that I will never love another as I love you. I want a life with you. I want kids with you. I want everything with you. Calliope Torres, you would make me the happiest woman in the world if you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. I swear to you that I will do all that is in my power to make you happy until my dying breath. Will you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

Callie had tears streaming down her face as she smiled down at the love of her life.

"Yes Arizona, yes! I love you too, and want to spend the rest of my life with you." Callie said, smiling through her tears of joy.

Arizona got up and placed the engagement ring on Callie's finger. It was a white gold, 2-carat blue diamond solitaire ring. Callie constantly commented how she could get lost in blissful oblivion whenever she looked into Arizona's blue eyes so Arizona had made sure to get a diamond that matched the color perfectly. Arizona wrapped her arms around her now fiancée and kissed her passionately. Arizona wanted to take her love right then and there, but thought better of it. As quiet as they'd tried to stay, she could hear the whispers behind the door leading into the OR. She reluctantly stopped kissing Callie and leaned her forehead against the Latina's, trying to savor the moment a little longer.

"Baby, I love you. You've made me so happy. We have to go celebrate, but before we do, I think we have to let in everyone that's standing behind that door… the sooner we get rid of them, the sooner we can be alone again…"

Callie laughed. She too, had noticed the hushed whispers behind the door. "Ok, let them in…"

"I know you're all behind that door. You can come in now…" Arizona said a little louder, looking over at Callie and rolling her eyes playfully.

Their friends stumbled over one another as they came in and rushed to congratulate the happy couple. It had indeed been the perfect day; and it wasn't over yet.

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><p><em><strong>REVIEWS ARE LOVED!<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

Callie rose from her chair beside Arizona and looked around her family and friends as she raised her champagne glass. Arizona turned and stared at her fiancée in complete awe; Callie's dress selection for the evening was making it very difficult to make it through the night. She'd picked out a black, ruched fitted cocktail dress that hugged every curve and went just above the knees. The off the shoulder neckline and showed a decent amount of cleavage. It was a tasteful dress and she looked gorgeous, though Arizona was having a hard time accepting the fact that at the end of the night she wouldn't be the one undressing Callie and would instead be going to sleep alone. Their respective fathers had insisted they spend the night before the wedding apart claiming tradition and whatnot. Knowing better than to argue with their fathers, they'd given in. Arizona would be staying at Teddy's while Cristina came to spend the night with Callie. Neither woman liked the idea of spending the night away from the other, but they'd be off on their honeymoon the day after the wedding, and could spend the entirety of it in bed making love to one another if they wanted to, so that at least made things a little better. The voices quieted down almost instantly, and Callie began her speech.

"First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that is here tonight for their presence. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to both Arizona and I that all of you are here to join us in what is to be one of the best days of our lives as a couple. To my family: Dad, mom, Aria, thank you SO MUCH for being here. I've no words to express just how happy it makes me that I'll be able to share this day with you. Thank you for accepting me and loving me as I am. Thank you for welcoming my fiancée into the family and treating her so well. Family is everything to me, to both of us; and the fact that both our families are here will make this day even more special. Thank you to all of our other family: our friends whom we work with everyday and who have become an integral part of our lives. Thank you all for being there through thick and thin with both of us since the beginning of our relationship. As all of you know, I've been married before. Granted, it wasn't the traditional wedding, but it was legal in the eyes of this nation. Tomorrow's ceremony will not be legal. A wise woman once told me, (at this she looked at Bailey) that it isn't necessary to sign papers and get married in a church for a marriage to become legal and be married in the eyes of God. God is everywhere; He isn't just confined to four walls and a roof. I know now that He will be there amongst us tomorrow, and I pray that He too, gives us His blessing along with everyone else present. I don't need to sign a piece of paper to bind my life to this wonderful woman beside me; I'm already hers."

At this, she turned to her fiancée.

"Arizona, I love you with all my heart. There were times in our relationship when I seriously thought this day would never come. Now that it is here, I can tell you that it feels that much better that I get to call you my wife as of tomorrow. You were there for me since the very beginning, even when I wasn't there for myself. We've been through hell and back. I can't wait to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. Te amo mi vida."

"I love you too my love." Arizona rose to her feet and gave Callie a soft peck on the lips. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill as she hugged her fiancée as cheers and applause filled the room.

Callie sat and the attention in the room then turned to Arizona. She was dressed in her signature color, this time picking a Persian blue, deep slight surplice v-neck dress that dipped to a ruched, crisscrossed bodice. It was a year after the accident. She was relatively pain-free at this point, the only evidence of what had happened were the thin, practically invisible lines that ran down her arm and across her shoulder blade and down her femur; Mark had done well. She turned and gave a quick, nervous smile to Callie before turning back towards their guests.

"Wow, I'm actually kind of tongue-tied now… how am I supposed to follow _that_ Calliope?" she asked, Callie, a grin spreading across her face. She took a deep breath, and continued.

"As Calliope said, I too, would like to thank everyone for being here with us for this wonderful occasion. I am still in a bit of shock that it's come so quickly. Three and one half years ago I kissed her in a bathroom and now here we are, the day before our wedding. A lot has happened since then; and I am just immensely happy that we were able to overcome every obstacle that got in our way to getting to where we are today. Thank you to my family for being here. Thank you mom, dad, for always accepting me for the person I am, even when I didn't know myself. Thank you for trusting me and for having faith in me." Thank you to the Torres family for being here and supporting Calliope on this great day. I know we didn't always see eye to eye, but it is amazing to have you all here. Thank you for giving us your blessing. Thank you to all of our adopted family. I wouldn't be here tonight if it wasn't for you all.

Arizona began to tear up.

"Not many of you know that I once had a brother. His name was Danny; he was my twin. He was the first person I came out to. When I told my brother I was a lesbian, he laughed, and asked if that meant I was going to marry a chick. When I said yes, he said he would dance really hard on my wedding day. He was killed in Iraq 5 years ago. Now my wedding day is here, and he is gone. I wish he could've met the wonderful woman I'm going to marry tomorrow."

She turned to Callie.

"He would've loved you Calliope. He was a wonderful person; a good man in a storm. He placed family, honor, duty above all else. He probably would've teased you like crazy or tortured me by telling you stories of our childhood; but he would've been an amazing brother-in-law. He was an amazing brother, the best anyone's ever had. I know that he is with us tonight, and that he will be with us during the ceremony tomorrow. He would've given you that 'talk'; but he also would've congratulated you right after. He would've seen, just as everyone else present, just how wonderful you are. Going into that bathroom that night was the best decision I've ever made in my life Calliope; because it brought me one step closer to having you by my side. I will honor and cherish you for the rest of my life, and I thank God for having placed you in my path. I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too baby."

The room erupted in applause yet again. The majority of the people in the room were unaware of Arizona's past, and her revelation and speech had brought tears to their eyes. All around the room, smiles could be seen amongst the guests. These women had indeed been through hell together; they deserved happiness.

A couple of hours later, once everyone had finished their meals and had a few cocktails, they began vacating the premises. Arizona and Callie were hand in hand, not wanting to let go.

"Arizona, can you believe we're getting married tomorrow?"

"I don't think it has sunk in yet. I feel like I'm living in a dream. I wish I could go home with you tonight baby; you look amazing!"

"You looking breathtaking yourself _amor. Maybe I can sneak you in once Cristina's fallen asleep…"_

"_Teddy is going to be watching me like a hawk, I doubt I'll be able to get away. But after tomorrow night, we'll be together never to sleep apart again. Spain, here we come!"_

"_We have to get married first honey."_

"_I know, but that doesn't mean I can't picture you in that hot bikini of yours while carrying sangrias…"_

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><p><strong>I know this was really short, and I'm sorry! I've been somewhat brain dead after finals... the weddinghoneymoon is next!=)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all! I should probably start off by saying that I intended to update this a lot sooner than I have, but I kept getting stuck with descriptions. I'm not the best when it comes to describing gowns and such... There comes a point in time (for me at least) that thinking in two languages leaves me clueless in both. I hope that you are not disappointed by this chapter; I did put some thought behind it. Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! They definitely help fuel my thought process. I already know exactly where I want this story going, it's just a matter of getting it on paper. The next update should be a lot easier. All mistakes are mine. Seeing as how it is past midnight, there may be a few in here. I'll give it a run through tomorrow and fix it up. enjoy!**

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><p>"I've dreamed of this day all of my life; and now I finally get to walk my little girl down the aisle." Carlos Torres said, beaming with pride as he walked over to Callie and wrapped his arms around his daughter. "Estoy tan orgulloso de ti Calliope. Has escogido a la pareja perfecta en Arizona. Sé que al principio me comporté terriblemente mal, pero espero que comprendas que era porque sólo quería tu bienestar. Ahora sé que tu felicidad está al lado de esa maravillosa mujer a la que he llegado a querer como una hija. Espero que sean felices el resto de sus vidas. Te adoro hija mía. Sé feliz, es lo único que pido de ti." <em>(I'm so proud of you Calliope; you've chosen the perfect partner in Arizona. <em>_I know that I behaved terribly in the beginning, but I hope you understand I only thought of your wellbeing. Now I know and understand that your happiness lies by that wonderful woman's side. I've come to love her as a daughter as well. I hope you are both happy for the rest of your lives. I love you Calliope. Be happy, that's all I ask of you.)_ Carlos kissed Callie's cheek gently.

"I love you too daddy. You've no idea how happy you've made me by accepting Arizona as part of my life. She told me you'd come around. She makes me so happy dad. I hope I can make her as happy as she makes me. She truly is the love of my life, and I plan on loving her for the rest of my days. Today is a great day; a happy day. We don't need to think about the past. The important thing is that you're here now; that's what matters to me. I too, dreamt of the day you'd give me away." Callie's eyes began to water.

"I love you, my baby. Don't cry; you'll ruin your makeup and then what will Arizona think?" Carlos asked jokingly.

"Dad…" Callie chuckled. "You ready to get this show on the road?"

"I've never been more prepared than I am now." He replied, extending his arm.

Callie, at the insistence of her father, had finally given in and allowed him to cover the reservations and costs of the wedding. She'd given him an idea of what she and Arizona had in mind; the rest was left to him with his word that they wouldn't be disappointed. Carlos had indeed felt terrible it had taken him so long to come around to his daughter's way of life that he made it his mission in life to make his daughter's wedding a day for her and her bride to remember. He'd hired the best wedding planner in the country, and personally gave his 'ok' for everything from venues to seating charts, music, menus, etc. He knew his daughter; and after several calls with Col. and Barbara Robbins, he made sure to include Arizona's tastes in their special day as well.

They made their way out of the limousine and Callie's breath caught the instant her eyes took in the scene before her: Carlos had reserved the Seattle Japanese Garden in its entirety. Flowers, plants and trees were in full bloom on this sunny spring day; a rarity for Seattle. The trail, surrounded by fountains and ponds and flowers of all colors, led to an open area of the garden that was now lined with rows of white chairs. A white aisle runner lined with pink rose petals on both sides led the way to the altar to the left of which a string quartet sat and waited for their cue. To the left of the altar, a photo of Daniel Robbins Jr. in full uniform sat atop a tripod stand, a memory candle resting on a small table beside the photo. Carlos and the Robbins' had made sure Arizona had her moment with her brother on this special day. The guest list could've been endless; the Torres family alone would've filled 100 seats in a heartbeat, let alone friends and business acquaintances. In the end, Carlos had decided to keep it small, and have only those closest to his daughter and bride in attendance. 50 of the couple's closest friends and family were there to join in their special day.

"Daddy, this is so beautiful. Arizona is going to love this just as much as I am. Thank you so much."

"Thank you, Calliope, for making this old man the happiest he's ever been."

After some discussion, Callie and Arizona had decided that Callie would be the one taking Arizona's name. From that day forth, they'd be known as Drs. Arizona and Calliope Robbins-Torres. This arrangement had Arizona walking down the aisle first. It had been well planned out so that neither bride could sneak a peek at the other until the right moment. Carlos had led Callie away so that she couldn't see Arizona walk down the aisle.

Callie's niece Carolina walked down the aisle and performed her role of flower girl to perfection. Mark and Teddy, the respective best man/maid of honor (though in this case flipped) followed the toddler. Col. Daniel Robbins, in full dress uniform, appeared at the end of the aisle, his beautiful daughter at his side. Arizona had picked a one-piece, corset, strapless, slim A-line gown with sweetheart neckline. The neckline was accented with ruched organza. Corded lace adorned the gown scattered with seed beads, sequins, and Swarovski crystals. The hemline is had three tiers of organza falling delicately into a sweep train.

Music began to play as Arizona and her father made their way down the aisle. The look on the Colonel's face could not be brighter; the man was beaming as he led his daughter down the aisle. Once they reached the altar, he gave her a kiss and went to join his wife. Carlos then reached for Callie's hand again, and slowly made their way down the aisle. Callie had picked a strapless one-piece gown with a corset closure. Angular beading and Swarovski crystals enhanced the pleated bustline and the ruched bodice. Delustered satin created cascading tiers that fell over the skirt. The bubble hem finished off the look; both brides looked amazing.

The second they locked eyes they realized this was exactly where they were meant to be. Callie and Arizona's faces lit up when they saw the other; both sets of eyes darkened momentarily as they both took in the other's appearance. This was it, the most important day of their lives. Carlos kissed his daughter and placed her hand in Arizona's, kissed his future daughter-in-law, and went to his seat.

The ceremony itself went by in a blur for the two women. They were caught in a trance, completely mesmerized that by the time it came to their vows, both were slightly panicking, Callie more so than Arizona. This time, it was Arizona that went first.

"Calliope, when I first arrived in Seattle, I had absolutely no intention of ever falling in love again. You know my story, and why the events of my life had driven me here. I had nothing else on my mind but continuing to improve myself as a doctor and working hard to save the tiny humans I love so much. I knew these kids were in need of my help, and so I willingly dove right in. What I didn't realize at the time was that I too, needed help. I too, needed fixing. I was a Picasso; all the pieces were there, but completely fragmented and in the wrong place. It was you that put me back together. You were the one that made Arizona Robbins the person come alive once again. You helped me see there is much more to life than I ever imagined. I can't wait for you to be my wife. My life started when I met you, and you gave it meaning and purpose when you deemed me worthy of becoming your partner. I can't wait to live the rest of my life with you and our ten kids. I will be there for you every step of the way, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, until my last breath. I love you with all of my heart. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you forever. This is my solemn vow; on this day, I give you all of myself."

Callie tried her best to keep her emotions at bay while she listened to Arizona's vows. She'd promised herself she wouldn't cry, yet it was becoming increasingly difficult to fulfill that promise. As she heard Arizona's words, her panic disappeared and was replaced with renewed confidence. No one else mattered in this moment; no one else existed but the wonderful woman in front of her.

"I never thought the day would come when I would get married again. My track record when it comes to relationships isn't one to boast about. In my heart I felt that even though there was so much of me to give, there would never be another person I'd be willing to give myself to. I'd lost my ability to trust people, especially with my heart. Then this perky peds surgeon with butterflies in her scrub cap came into a bathroom and kissed me one night, effectively sending all thought process and logic I ever knew out the window. It was impossible to not fall in love with you Ari. The person you are has taught me that there are other ways of living, of enjoying this life. You picked up the pieces of my broken heart and put them back together again. You healed my spirit, my very soul. You taught me that when you love someone, you have to be willing to compromise and adapt for the other person. With you I learned that things are not always just black and white, good or bad, but that there is a little grey in there. The time that I have spent with you has been the best of my life, and I cannot wait to continue our path down the road of life with you as my wife. This may not be a legal marriage, but you will forever be my wife. I don't need a piece of paper to prove our relationship is real, I see it in your eyes every time I look at you. You are my affinity, my life, my forever. I promise to honor and cherish you, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. I love you Ari. This is my solemn vow; on this day, I give you all of myself."

They exchanged rings; Arizona's with Callie's initials and vice versa followed by a heart and 'TTF' (today, tomorrow and forever). Bailey declared them 'wife and wife'. Arizona caressed Callie's face as she declared her love again and kissed her wife as the guests rose to their feet and clapped enthusiastically, celebrating the newly married couple.

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><p><strong>So how'd I do?=)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I won't even go there... I know it's been ages since my last update. My apologies to my readers! My head has not exactly been in update mode. This chapter is not exactly what I had in mind, but I figured I should get something out.**

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><p>"So how was the honeymoon? Did you even bother setting foot outside the hotel?" Mark asked, a devilish grin spreading over his face.<p>

"Suck it Mark. My father's wedding gift to us, as if the wedding wasn't enough, was a 10 day stay at the magnificent Finca Pino… huge, private property, infinity pool, exotic gardens, spa, amazing scenery with a view of the Mediterranean and a quick drive to the beach, all the sangrias we could possibly want, and more. My wife and I had an incredible, unforgettable honeymoon. After dealing day in and out with the stress of our work schedules and constantly being on call and the planning of the wedding, it was just what we needed. Knowing how that perverted mind of yours works, that's all you're getting." Callie said, walking off.

"Oh come on Torres! You gotta give me something! You can't possibly leave me hanging after that!"

"You have Lexie to fantasize about now! But fine, if you really must know something, I'll tell you, and remember, you're the one that asked for it!"

"So did Robbins and you do anything other than have hot lesbian sex?" Mark asked, once again intrigued.

"I will tell you this Mark. Throughout the course of our honeymoon, my very hot, very talented wife pleased me in ways you can't even imagine. It leaves your Sloan Method severely lacking, with much to be desired. I mean seriously, after Arizona Robbins, who in their right mind would even consider having…"

"You're mean, you know that? MEAN! I don't want to hear any more!" Mark said, running off in a huff.

"I thought you wanted details…" Callie said, smirking as she saw him round the corner probably in search of Lexie to once again prove his manhood.

"Details on what babe?" Arizona asked, coming up to Callie and giving her wife a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh nothing, Mark just wanted details of our honeymoon…"

"Calliope…"

"Don't worry Arizona. After what I just told him, Mark won't be asking us about our sex life any time soon."

"Don't tell me you actually said something to him." Arizona said, her face quickly turning into one of shock.

"Of course I didn't. I might've told him that his skills were severely lacking when put up against yours and that no woman in their right mind would want to be with a man after having you my love."

"Poor Mark. That was a low blow Calliope. The man will be scarred for life." Arizona laughed.

"Maybe it will teach him a thing or two. Besides, what happened on that honeymoon is just between us mí amor."

"That it is my beautiful better half." Arizona said, giving Callie a deeper kiss. "I've got rounds. I'll see you for lunch?"

"You sure will. I'll see you later baby."

"Bye."

The rest of the morning went by rather uneventfully. It wasn't until halfway through their lunch break that both Arizona and Callie got an emergency beep to the ER; both left their meals halfway finished and ran towards the waiting patient. It turned out to be a 15 year-old girl who had taken a fall while mountain climbing and was now covered in blood and with several fractured bones. It wasn't until nearly 10 hours later that they scrubbed out; and though this girl's life as she knew it was over, she was now stable and resting in the ICU.

"What a horrible thing to happen to someone so young. Poor girl; I wish we could've done more for her Calliope." Arizona said as they walked to the locker room; head in defeat.

"There was too much time between her fall and her arrival here; we are lucky we were able to keep her alive. Her spine had damage that was beyond repair Ari; I wish we could've done more as well, but there was nothing else that we could do. Once she regains some of her strength and is stable enough, I can go in again to see if she can regain some leg function, but things don't look good." Callie said. It was always difficult to deliver this kind of news to patients, especially ones whose lives were just beginning. She'd gone into the waiting room and given the restless parents the bad news: their daughter was immobilized from the waist down, and the chances of her walking again were slim to none. This girl's life, regardless of whether or not she could regain leg function, would never be the same again.

Callie could not rid herself of this nagging feeling from within. She felt horrible at the fact that she'd just had deliver some of the worst news a parent can hear, yet something within her would not leave her be. There was something she'd forgotten to do, yet she couldn't place it.

"Baby, are you ok? What's the matter?" Arizona asked, a worried look masking her features.

"I don't know Ari. I've been getting this feeling lately; I can't describe it really. I feel like there's something I'm missing, something I'm forgetting; I just can't put my finger on it. It feels important, but if it were, I should've remembered, no?"

"Well we have had quite busy schedules these last couple of days because of the honeymoon. I wouldn't worry so much about it baby, it'll come to you."

"I hope it does; because whatever it is, it's getting on my nerves! Are you ready to go? I can't wait to go to bed. Today has been a really long day, and I'm counting the minutes before I can get into bed and wrap my arms around you."

"Hmm, that sounds wonderful my beautiful wife. Let's go home."

Hands intertwined, they left the hospital and headed across the street to their apartment. They entered the living area and put their respective purses and coats aside and headed into their bedroom. After a quick shower, both changed into pajamas and got into bed. Arizona groaned slightly once her head hit the pillow.

"How tired are you Ari?" Callie asked with an air of suggestion in her voice.

"I'm tired but most importantly, in pain. My lower back has been killing me all day. I'm so glad we were able to get through the honeymoon without having to worry about that time of the month; but now it's coming with a vengeance." Arizona grimaced as she felt another pang in her lower back.

"I'm sorry baby. Here, scoot closer and I'll give you a massage." Callie said as he readied her hands to soothe her wife's pain.

_Addison. She'd completely forgotten to call Addison._

Making a mental note to call her tomorrow, she placed her hands on her wife's body, ready to try to alleviate her pain.


	5. Chapter 5

_Everything was moving in slow motion. Figures blurred past her tear-filled eyes. She couldn't do this anymore; be here anymore. She couldn't figure out how things had led her here. Her life had been the epitome of perfection, or so she'd thought. What more could she ask for: she had a beautiful, loving wife, a supportive family, and the best group of friends who were always there for them._

"_I can't imagine the amount of pain you're in, but we have to go." Mark told her, a supportive arm around her shoulders._

_"I can't. I can't leave her; not like this. She's all alone; I'm not leaving her!"_

"_There's nothing more you can do; she's gone. She wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."_

"_How would you know what she did and didn't want Mark? You didn't know her; I DIDN'T KNOW HER. We had our troubles, yes, but everyone does. Why didn't she come to me? Why didn't she go to anyone? She could've sought help. We wouldn't be here…" Gut-wrenching sobs began to escape from her lips. "I loved her with all of my heart, with everything I had… and she left me…"_

It had been months since her disappearance. Arizona and Callie had been married for a little less than one year. Everything seemed perfectly fine. Both continued working their demanding surgical schedules. They made it a point to make time for each other. As a married couple, they now strove to make their family complete. Months had passed, taking a negative pregnancy test with each one. Both women were heartbroken at the inability to get pregnant. They went to sleep late one night after having made love, and the morning came only to find one of them gone forever. A note lay on a pillow; it didn't make sense. It didn't explain the reasoning behind the abandonment, because that is what this was. Arizona was broken, Callie was broken, and there was no turning back.

Carlos' money and resources had been useless. Months of searching were futile; his daughter's family had been torn apart. The doctors of Seattle had all come together and put all their efforts forward to finding one of their own. Calls and trips were made, searches were conducted: hospitals, police stations, morgues, everywhere they could possibly think of to no avail. They'd seen the woman that had been left behind wither as the months went by. No longer was the luminous smile that brightened her features not so long ago. She didn't eat or sleep, she'd lost weight to the point of being unrecognizable. Gone were the anger and anxiety, the worry and depression. All that remained was a shell.

_Mark had been banging on the door for the last ten minutes with no answer. She was in there; she had to be. He'd taken her home the night before, tucked her into bed after her considerable consumption of alcohol. It seemed to be the only thing to drown the pain nowadays and he couldn't blame her. He'd gone home once she'd fallen asleep, and had been called into an emergency surgery early in the morning. When she didn't show up to work and didn't call in, he'd come over after scrubbing out of his last surgery before lunch to check on her. Now here he was, outside the apartment, contemplating on breaking down the door. After calling out for her and banging on the door once more, he'd broken down the door and rushed in._

_It was quiet; eerily so. Chills ran down his spine as he made his way from the living area to the main bedroom calling her name. There was no answer. He knocked on the bedroom door; again no answer. This door however, remained unlocked. He pushed it open and tentatively stepped inside. The bed was made, as if no one had slept in it the night before. He turned his head towards the bathroom door to see that there was no light within. He took a few steps forward, and it wasn't until he was near the end of the bed when he saw it; _her.

_Blood was everywhere. He reached over to feel a pulse and began crying out her name, trying to get her to react. Tears filled his eyes as he choked out her name. She was cold, lifeless._

"_Why? Why did you do this?" He cried._

Arizona eyes snapped open. "Calliope…"


	6. Author's Note

**I feel like I owe you, my readers, an explanation. I was somewhat expecting the feedback I've gotten thus far. I apologize for getting you all confused. I wrote this last night, and suffice it to say, I was in one of my dark and twisty moments. This chapter, I know, feels like it's been thrown out of nowhere, and that is exactly its intention. Arizona was indeed having a dream, or in this case, a nightmare. I intentionally left names out. I'm working on an update that I hope I can get up soon. This will make more sense as the story progresses. Thanks for sticking with it and for the feedback! If you all ever have any suggestions for me, I'm always available and open to suggestions.=)**


	7. Chapter 6

**The story continues... hopefully this helps a bit. Everything will start making more sense as the story progresses. Thank you all for your feedback; especially Funkyshaz57 for going into a little more detail;) feeback is loved!**

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><p>"So what did Addison say to you? Are we going to be making a trip to LA anytime soon?" Arizona and Callie sat at their usual table for lunch. Everyone else had gotten delayed or pulled into a last minute surgery and had been unable to join the couple for lunch. Arizona had taken the opportunity to ask Callie about their plans.<p>

"No. She wants me to get some more labs done. She's been having some problems down there; so if there is anything, she said she'd come up instead. I think she just wants a break from everything that's going. I think it's better anyway, don't you? We don't have to worry about rearranging surgical schedules, and she can come and spend a few days with us. It's a win-win. I told her she could stay with us…" Callie finished hesitantly. She'd not consulted this with her wife before extending the invite and she knew one of Arizona's pet peeves was having something throw her schedule and life off balance. She waited a few seconds. Arizona seemed to be distracted; either that or she hadn't liked the news she'd just received. "I can make accommodations for her at the Archfield if it's a problem…" Callie began again.

"Of course she can stay with us. Our friends are always welcome in our home Calliope. The guest room is always ready. I'm sorry I didn't answer right away; I was just thinking about something." Arizona absentmindedly picked at her salad.

"You've been quiet for the last few days Ari. What's going on?" Callie asked, her face filled with worry.

"It's nothing Calliope."

"No, don't do that. It's not _nothing. _I'm your wife Arizona. Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

Arizona remained silent, not knowing where to begin.

"Does this have to do with the nightmares you've been having?"

Arizona's head snapped up. "You know about them?"

"I know of them. You've been restless, thrashing around in your sleep. I've not wanted to wake you, but you seem to calm down once I put my arms around you. What's going on Ari? What are your nightmares about?"

Arizona was completely shocked. She'd no idea the commotion she'd been causing. Normally when either of them had nightmares, they would wake the other and either talk about it or try to get them back to sleep. She'd not wanted to wake Callie; she didn't want her to know what her nightmares had been about. "I'm sorry Callie, I can't talk about them. It hurts to think about them. Can we just please leave this alone? It's nothing. I'm sure they'll go away. I'm sorry I've been waking you; I didn't know I was doing it."

"I'm not worried about you waking me; I'm worried about what you aren't telling me. Please baby, talk to me. We can work through anything together."

Arizona sat quietly for a few seconds; internally debating whether or not to share with her wife the nightmares she'd been having. It had been the same one, over and over for the past week. On one hand, she desperately wanted to tell Callie of the thoughts that had been tormenting her for the last few nights. They'd been apart before, and the idea of losing Callie again was breaking her apart. The other part didn't make any sense to her. They were together, happily married, trying to get pregnant. Their relationship had never been better. She couldn't find an explanation to the dreams, and they scared her. She knew Callie was worried about her, and now her silence was beginning to cause problems between them. Arizona couldn't decide which was worse: having Callie be mad at her for not telling her of her troubled thoughts or freaking her out with the nightmares she was having. She knew if she told Callie of the dreams, old demons would come back to haunt them. Thinking about it for a few more seconds, she made her decision. She reached over and took Callie's hands in her own.

"Calliope… you know that I love you. I love you and trust you with all of my heart. I know you're worried, but I'm telling you: I'm going to be alright. I'm asking you to trust me; please? I can't talk about what's going on right now. I need to figure it out, and I don't want to worry you about it. I've been thinking about making an appointment with Dr. Wyatt and getting some feedback from her. I'll get some help, and maybe she can help me deal with this, and find a way to let you in on it too, ok? I need you to trust me baby…"

"Arizona, you're scaring me…"

"I'm sorry, that is the last thing I want to do. Everything is alright. I've just had dreams in the past that have bothered me. They've marked me in a way, and I never dealt with them. I realize now that I have to face them. I've never told anyone about them, ever. It's not because I don't trust you, it because I don't want to overwhelm you. I promise you, once I can get a handle on them, we'll talk about them, ok?" Arizona tried to make eye contact, but Callie refused to look at her.

"Are you leaving again?" Callie couldn't bear to look up, afraid of the answer.

"Callie, baby, look at me."

Nothing. Arizona put her hand beneath Callie's chin and gently pushed her head up, forcing her to make eye contact.

"Listen to me. I am not going anywhere. I love you. I meant what I said. I'm in this for the long run. I want you to be the last person I see at night and the first I see when I wake up. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're my soul mate, and I can't picture my life without you in it. Any decision I make about my future, _our_ future, will not be made without your input and agreement first, ok?"

Callie gave her a weak smile. "Ok."

"I hope you can understand that I need to do this alone. Please understand that I'm doing it this way because I think it's best for both of us. Can you trust me with that?"

"Yes Ari, I trust you. Make the appointment with Dr. Wyatt. If you want me to attend a session with you at any time, just let me know."

Arizona leaned over and gave Callie a quick, soft kiss on the lips. She wrapped both of Callie's hands in hers, and laid her head on them. "I love you Calliope. Never doubt that."


	8. Chapter 7

**I know that, like religion, we all have different viewpoints on premonitions, certain psychological and cognitive concepts and theories. I respect everyone's viewpoints on this and in no way try to persuade anyone to believe whether or not something like this is actually possible. Bear with me, this is going somewhere. Thanks for the reviews;)**

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><p>"Dr. Robbins; Arizona, have a seat. Would you like to tell me why we're here?" Dr. Wyatt began. She was seated across from Arizona, a patient and passive look on her face.<p>

Arizona looked around the small, though comfortable office. She knew she had to be there; she'd been the one to make the appointment after all. The fact that she'd made it a point to get there and on time didn't make things any easier.

"You know why I'm here. I filled everything out prior to our appointment." Arizona replied, not quite ready to open up.

"I read your paperwork, and know why you are here. One of the steps in this process is that you have to acknowledge your reason for being here. You have to take that step before you can ever have any chance of moving past your fears."

"I'm here because I'm having nightmares. Well, nightmare really; it's the same one repeating itself over and over again."

"Have you been prone to nightmares before?"

"Yes; that is the reason this scares me so much."

"Tell me about it."

Arizona had yet to make eye contact. Her hands were intertwined, her knee bouncing repeatedly. She didn't know where to begin.

"I don't know where to begin."

"Who is in your dream?"

"Calliope, my wife." Her leg began to bounce quicker.

"And what is Calliope doing in this dream?"

"She's gone. She disappears into thin air. In my dream, I wake to find her gone. She leaves a note behind, explaining that she can't be in Seattle anymore; that she loves me, and that she has to leave. No explanation, nothing. She just left."

"What do you do in the dream?"

"I look for her; we all do. Our family and friends have a nationwide search for her, but she's nowhere to be found. I don't know how much time passes; months it seems like. I end up dead on my bedroom floor."

"How does this happen?"

"Danny, my brother, was killed in Iraq. We were very close; he was my twin. I was given his dog tags and his handgun when he died. I've kept it with me all this time; for protection more than anything else."

"You shoot yourself with a gun?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I'd given up? I guess a part of me realized I would never see her again; I'd never be whole again. We tried, for so long, we've fought to be happy, and I feel like in the end it was I who pushed her away. I guess I couldn't live with myself, knowing I'd hurt her like that again."

"Have you talked to Calliope about your nightmares?"

"No. She's asked me about them. We talked the other day while we were having lunch. I told her that I was in the process of making an appointment with you, but that I couldn't talk to her about it yet. I didn't want to worry her with this."

"You don't think that if you talked to her about it, maybe she could help you overcome this fear you have?"

"No, I don't."

Dr. Wyatt remained silent and just looked at Arizona, waiting for her to continue.

"I don't know that it is a good idea to talk to her about it because this has happened to me before. These dreams; I've had them before. I've had them for as long as I can remember; and they've never brought anything good. They've been premonitions, if you will. I've never known the when or where something is going to happen; but I've seen things in my dreams that happen later on in my life."

"Have you ever seen or spoken to anyone about these dreams?"

"No, I haven't. I've never had the nerve to speak to anyone about them because I know how it sounds; it makes me sound crazy. There is no way we can predict the future. Yet I have had these dreams. The last one happened with my brother, right before he died in Iraq. He came to me in one of my dreams. He spoke to me, told me that he loved me, that he would always be with me. A week later I got a phone call from my father telling me Danny was killed in action. I'm afraid of talking to Calliope about my dream; because I don't want to have it come true. I'm afraid of losing her; of losing us. I don't know what to do."

"What makes you think this dream will happen? Have you two been having problems?"

"No! We've never been better! That's another reason why this makes no sense whatsoever! We just got married. We are thinking about moving into a bigger place; we're trying to get pregnant. Calliope was just made head of her department; our lives are great right now."

"Has anything happened recently, anything at all, that would raise any red flags in your relationship?"

"No. We've been talking about having a baby. Calliope's friend, Dr. Montgomery, has been treating her and we've been trying to get pregnant. The things we argue about are fairly irrelevant, like the color of the nursery; it's nothing to explo…" Arizona stopped mid-sentence.

"What is it?" Dr. Wyatt asked.

"The other day, when she was asking me about my nightmares; she was afraid… she asked me if I was leaving again."

"Again?"

"We broke up earlier in our relationship. I'd won the Carter Madison grant and was to spend 3 years in Africa. I accepted it without her knowing about it. At first she was furious, and then we talked about it and decided she would come with me. After weeks of passive aggressive behavior and realizing she truly didn't want to accompany me, I broke up with her at the airport and left for Africa alone. Needless to say, that completely threw everything off balance. A few months later I returned to have her ignore me. It took a car crash for her to speak to me again. She told me she'd slept with Mark, her best friend while I'd been away. We've had our ups and downs, certainly, but even after all of that, we came out a stronger couple because of them. I didn't realize she still had the fear of my leaving her. I would never leave again. I'm her wife, we took vows, and I swore to her that I would spend the rest of my life with her. I don't know what to do…"

"I think you need to talk to your wife; tell her what's going on."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"I understand your fear; but you need to learn how to communicate this with her. If you were to talk to her about this, I'm sure she'd be able to give you the support you need and you'd be able to work through it together. This, after all, could just be a dream."

"How can I tell her about this? I don't want to hurt or worry her."

"I think you need to take little steps. If this nightmare surfaces again, let her comfort you next time. I think that would be a good place to start."

"Is that it?"

"I have a homework assignment for you. Before our next session, I want you to speak with Calliope about premonitions. I want you to test the waters; get to communicating with her about what her standpoint is on this subject. Should you feel that she is in a different mindset than you when it comes to this; I recommend you come in for a joint session later on so that we can get you to communicate your fears about your dreams to her. You two are a strong couple, I can see it. I know you can, and will overcome this, together. Our time is up for today, unfortunately. Schedule an appointment next week and we'll see where your progress is."

"Thank you Dr. Wyatt." Arizona shook the older woman's hand and left. Though confused about her homework, she felt slightly better than when she'd gone in 50 minutes before.


	9. Chapter 8

**I'm back everyone! Believe me, I've wanted to update this for a very long time; life had a different plan for me though. I want to thank my wonderful friend WildImaginings for reading this over and beta-ing it for me; you're awesome friend;) I also want to thank my readers for putting up with me and the eternal wait for updates; I'm humbled and thankful to have you around! The next chapter is done so that will be posted quickly=) Believe me, a change is coming.**

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><p>"I'm sorry I've made you wait so long Dr. Torres. One of my patients went into labor and I couldn't get out of the OR any quicker. Please have a seat." Lucy Fields motioned towards the seat in front of her desk.<p>

"Thank you Dr. Fields. It's really not a problem. Being a surgeon, I too, know how these situations come up. Thank you for seeing me today." Callie replied as she made herself comfortable on one of the chairs.

"So what can I do for you today? From what you wrote me, I understand Dr. Montgomery has been running your course of fertility treatments…"

"She has. I've been doing everything exactly as she's instructed; yet it's been months already and there are no positive results. She wants me to get more blood work and labs done to see if there is something we're missing. Dr. Montgomery lives in Los Angeles as I'm sure you're aware of, and she will be coming up for my treatment in the coming weeks. I need to get all the tests and labs done for when she arrives. I've spoken to her about the distance situation, and she thinks it a good idea to have an OB-GYN here and that they work together. I am here to ask if you're willing to be that doctor."

"I'd be glad to. It would be a great honor to work alongside the world renowned Addison Montgomery and strive for the goal you desire. I'm sure that with a little more time we can get you ready for pregnancy. We have science on our side; and hopefully with a little help from above we can have you well on your way to picking out nursery themes." Lucy said with a smile.

"That's great Dr. Fields. I was really hoping you'd say yes. I am hoping that we get started as soon as possible. I don't want to delay this anymore that it already has been and I'm not getting any younger."

"Ok, that's not a problem. Tell you what… let's start with the blood work," Lucy said as she pulled out a lab order form and began filling it out. "Since you need to be fasting, this has to wait until tomorrow. You know the drill. Go to the lab in the morning and get enough blood drawn for these tests. The results timeline varies, but we should have them all in about a week. I'll put some time aside a week from tomorrow to see where we're at. Once we have your results we'll see where we need to go from there, alright? I'll get in touch with Dr. Montgomery and keep her informed of the situation once we get your results back so we know what we're dealing with."

"That sounds great; thank you Lucy."

"It's my pleasure Callie. I really hope we can get you what you want. You and Dr. Robbins deserve to be happy, and I know a child will bring you both that happiness that will brighten your life even more."

"Yes, Arizona and I have wanted this baby more than anything; it will make our family complete. I can't wait to get started. I'll see you a week from tomorrow then." Callie said, as she rose to shake Lucy's hand before leaving the blonde's office.

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><p>"So what's going on with you and Callie? You two seem a little stressed as of late. Are things not going well between you two? You always seemed so happy together…" Teddy and Arizona had spent the afternoon working on a heart transplant and were now sitting at Joe's, celebrating and thrilled with the fact that their patient would live to see many more birthdays.<p>

"Teddy, it's nothing like that. I love Calliope; and she loves me. We're just having some trouble with getting pregnant. We've been trying for months with no success. I'm starting to get discouraged. Callie was supposed to talk to Dr. Fields today about her treatment but I got stuck in surgery so I couldn't go with her. Addison is starting her on a new treatment and so we'll see if this takes. Hopefully with a little luck, we can get pregnant soon." Arizona said with a small gleam of hope in her eyes.

"Who would've thought I'd ever live to see the day: Arizona Robbins happily married and hoping to get her wife knocked up." Teddy laughed.

"You make it sound so romantic Teds." Arizona said, a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm happy for you Ari, I really am. It WILL happen for you and Callie; you just have to give it a little bit of time." Teddy put her arm around Arizona's shoulders and gave her a slight squeeze of reassurance.

"I sure hope so. It breaks my heart to see the look on Callie's face every time we get a negative result. We've both agreed that neither one of us wants to deal with a pregnant me, so that's out of the question. I'm beginning to think about adoption. There are lots of kids out there that are in need of a home."

"I think adoption is a great idea, if that's what you really want."

"I'm not going to lie to you; I want a mini-Calliope running around. She wants a mini-me running around… that is what our hearts desire. But I know Callie; she has a big heart. If we can't get pregnant, I know we'd be happy with an adopted tiny human. We both just want a family; it doesn't matter that the tiny human we choose to love won't have our blood running through their veins. I'm going to wait and see what happens with this treatment that Addison is proposing. If that doesn't work, then I'll bring up the idea to Callie and see what she thinks about it."

"I think it's great Ari, I really do. But I know that's not the end of it. There is something else that is bothering you that you're not telling me about."

"Can't keep anything from you, can I?"

"Nope. You can pretend all you want, but I can still see right through you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok, well, I probably should've asked differently. Do you think it will help if you talk about it, even though you're hesitant to do so?"

"I don't know. I made an appointment with Dr. Wyatt the other day and I'm supposed to talk to Callie about it; or at least start somewhere."

"If you went to the lengths to get Wyatt, then there's something big going on. Is there anything I can help with?"

"I appreciate it Teddy, thank you. I don't think there's anything anyone can do at this point. I just have to sit and talk with Callie. I've been having nightmares. They've been interfering with our relationship to a degree because they are making me paranoid. I'm scared something is going to happen."

Teddy could hear the hesitation and discomfort in Arizona's voice. Something was bothering her, and she wasn't taking it lightly. She didn't see this side of her friend often; the vulnerable Arizona seldom made an appearance. Something wasn't right.

"What do you mean Ari? You just said you two were doing great."

"We _are_ Teddy. I'm just afraid. In the past, I've had dreams that have been premonitions of what's to come. I'm not saying that all my dreams are premonitions, but these are making it difficult to tell the difference between dreams and reality. They seem so real and I don't realize I'm dreaming until I wake up. I'm sorry. I really don't want to talk about it. I need to see Callie. I have to go; I'll catch you later, ok?"

"Ok Ari. I understand that you don't want to talk; but know that I'm here if you want someone to listen, ok? Things are going to be ok. You and Callie are perfect for one another. You've been through hell and back. I know you can get through this too."

"Thanks Teds." Arizona gave her a grateful smile as she rose from her chair headed towards the exit. She had her phone in hand, and was texting her wife to meet her at home. She needed to get this out quickly.

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><p>Arizona sat on the living room sofa. She waited nervously for Callie to arrive; trying to think of the best way to approach her taboo subject. She didn't want to do this; she didn't want to bring her wife into her world of unusual occurrences and premonitions. Every time she'd tried to open up to someone about them, with the exception of a psychologist, she usually ended up being seen as someone that needed her head checked. People were hesitant in believing her; they just didn't… and she couldn't blame them. It was her reality and she had to live with it; but the thought of burdening Callie with it was a bit too much.<p>

"Ari, what's the matter? Is everything ok? Your text kinda worried me a bit." Callie said as she entered the apartment and took a seat next to her apprehensive-looking wife.

"Everything is ok Calliope; I just wanted to talk with you about something…" Arizona finished, her eyes darting nervously to the floor as she fidgeted.

"Arizona, look at me." Callie had to wait a few seconds before troubled blue eyes met her own. "What's bothering you baby. You know you can tell me anything, right?" She asked, as she placed her hand on Arizona's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry Callie, I guess I was just having a difficult time phrasing it. I wanted to ask… have you ever experienced lucid dreaming?"

"Lucid dreaming, as in 'What makes you happy, Vanilla Sky' lucid dreaming?" Callie replied.

"No, I knew this wasn't a good idea…" Arizona muttered and began shutting down.

"Wait a second Ari. If I'm wrong, then explain. I want to understand what is bothering you."

"I guess it is something like that, in a way. With lucid dreaming, you don't know you're dreaming until you wake up. You have control of your dream. You make choices. You see, hear, and smell, feel everything as if it was happening in real life; it's just not. It is a dream so real that you've no idea you're asleep."

"I've never experienced something like that before. I can't even remember my dreams most of the time."

"Have you ever had anyone talk to you about them before?"

"No. From what I understood in psych, most people aren't able to remember their dreams; and the ones that do usually say they dream in black and white but can't remember details."

"I dream in color. We have a sleep cycle approximately every 90 minutes. It is during the deep stage of sleep, known as REM, in which we dream. I remember at least one of the dreams I have a night."

"Ok. Well that's quite intriguing; I'd be curious to know what you dream about. I just don't understand why this all has you so worked up."

"My dreams aren't normal."

"What do you mean?"

"I know what I'm going to say sounds crazy, really, I know this already. I've never heard of this happening to anyone before, but it happens to me. Do you remember any of the times when you've asked me where a particular bruise came from or if I'd tripped or taken a fall recently because of some mark on my body?"

"Yeah, I remember something like that; it was a few weeks ago. You had a nasty bruise on your forearm, and you told me you had hit yourself when running to the ER for a 911."

"That's not exactly what happened. I don't know the reasoning behind this, I've not been able to find an answer… but there are times when I'll wake up in the morning and I'll have marks on my body resulting from something that happened in my dreams."

"How do you mean?"

"Let's say I'm riding a bicycle in the dream, and I'm pedaling as fast as I can. I bump into something and fall off the bike in the dream. When I wake, not only are my legs and muscles exhausted from the effort, but I'll have a mark, bruise, or some type of pain in the area I hit while in the dream."

"That doesn't sound normal Ari."

"I _know_ that. Why do you think I've never talked to you about them before?" Arizona started getting irritated. She couldn't be mad at Callie; it was an expected response she was getting. This _wasn't_ normal; but just because it was abnormal didn't make it any less true.

"Baby, I know you're getting worked up. Just because I said it wasn't normal doesn't mean I don't believe you. We've slept together for a long time Ari. I know I could quite possibly sleep through a hurricane; but I can still feel you moving around at night. I told you, I feel you at night. I put my arms around you when I can without waking you or when it seems like you're having a particularly difficult dream, which has been quite frequently as of late. I just didn't realize the extent of the impact these dreams are having on you. I'm worried about you Ari."

"I'm not the one I'm worried about." Arizona muttered. It wasn't meant to be audible, yet Callie was close and alert enough to pick up on it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Callie asked with a mixture of intrigue and hurt plaguing her tone.

"It's nothing Calliope. Just let it be. This will work itself out; it always does."

"No Arizona, I'm not going to just sit here and take it. You have been running around on autopilot for weeks. You're shutting down, I can see it. This is why you went to Dr. Wyatt right? What did she say? Did she tell you about anything that can help?"

"She's trying to go slow; it's not an easy thing to do Calliope. I don't want to be having these nightmares! They terrify me. I don't want to go through this, I can't, I won't…"

Callie grabbed Arizona's shoulders and turned the blonde to face her.

"Arizona, look at me. Listen to me. You don't have to go through this alone. This is why _I'm _here. I meant what I said. For better or for worse, I'm here. These are just nightmares. I'm not saying they're easy, but that's all they are. We can work through them together. Maybe there is some kind of therapy or mediation or something that you can do to get rid of them; or calm them down at least. We can figure this out, ok?" She could feel the blonde begin to shake, a clear sign tears were coming. She'd never seen Arizona get like this over something she considered somewhat trivial. She put her arms around her wife and tried to soothe her.

"Callie! These aren't just bad nightmares, ok? My dreams have always been more than that. They've been a warning, a premonition of sorts, telling me what's to come. I can't explain it. I don't know how it works; I just know it's been happening since I was a child. This isn't just a bad scare after watching a horror movie. Not this…"

"I'm trying to understand Ari, but I can't if you don't let me in. Tell me what is bothering you so. What is it about these nightmares that make them so terrifying?"

Arizona could hear the supplication in her wife's voice. Callie wanted to help, and she was just pushing her away. How could she explain this to her though? How could she tell her of the nightmares without her thinking Arizona was crazy or making things up? How could she get Callie to understand the severity of what she was feeling when even _she _couldn't grasp it fully?

"I know this is crazy ok, I'm telling you. I've been over this a million times in my head, trying to make sense of it all and I never will make sense of it because there is no logic to it. What terrifies me of this dream is that you're gone. I wake up one morning and you're just not here. I don't know what happened to you. I have no idea where you are; I just know you're not here. We spend months looking for you, but you disappear off the face of the earth. I couldn't handle that Calliope. I couldn't handle losing you again." Arizona began sobbing as tears streamed down her face. She thought it best to leave the rest of her dream out. There was no point in telling Callie that gruesome detail that would only worry her pointlessly.

"Ari, baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this pain and anguish for as long as you have. I know that I couldn't stand losing you again either; which is why I can tell you this…" Callie made eye contact; she stared into those deep blue eyes which were clouded by tears and spoke quietly, yet resolutely. "I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, do you understand me? You're the love of my life Arizona. You're everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever dreamed of for as long as I can remember. We have been through so much as a couple already. There is nothing that would ever take me away from you. I will be here for you, every step of the way. I LOVE you, and I can't live without you. I am here, for the rest of our lives.

Callie cupped Arizona's face as she gently kissed her lips. It was meant to be soft, and reassuring, yet Arizona still couldn't get over the dreaded feeling this was not the end of it.


	10. Chapter 9

**OK everyone, as promised, here is the next update. Thanks for those of you who reviewed on the last chapter. I do want to point something out. I completely understand that my lack of consistency with updating is frustrating. I too, am a reader on here and waiting for updates sucks, especially when it's a good read. I do understand however, that life gets in the way, and that we are not all able to update as often as we'd like. I work full time, go to school full time, volunteer a good portion of my free time for a children's sponsorship program, and have a social life here and there. With that going on, there are times when personal illness or death of a family member comes into play; things that don't exactly put one in the mood to write. If I could, I would update every day or at least once or twice a week; but for whatever reason, I can't. Thank you to those who are willing to overlook this and those who continue reviewing and adding this story to their alerts. I will try to be better for you guys. To those who aren't satisfied, then I'm quite sorry I haven't been able to live up to your expectations. I hate to lose readers, but I'm realistic. There are plenty of great writers on this site; I'm sure those of you who are unsatisfied or unimpressed with me for whatever reason can find someone else. That said, these last two chapters have been a little longer than usual. I had a bit of trouble writing this, and decided to make some changes before posting it. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Arizona, you look slightly better than the last time we spoke. I take it things went well with Callie?"<p>

It had been several days since Arizona had talked with Callie. Things had relatively gone back to normal. Once Arizona opened up and let Callie in (at least partly) regarding her nightmares. Both still had the grueling surgical schedules to deal with, and the fact they were both heads of department didn't help any. Still, they had found their time to reconnect and were back to the Callie and Arizona everyone was used to seeing around the hospital. She'd kept her appointment with Dr. Wyatt and was now sitting in her office, ready to continue with her therapy.

"Things went better than I expected them to go. I spoke with Callie, just as you suggested. The conversation did have its ups and downs; yet I think she was able to understand my insecurities when it comes to my dreams."

"You went right into it and told her about your dreams?"

"I hadn't planned on doing it, but she got it out of me. At first there was some hesitation; just as expected. I didn't think she would understand. She did have a bit of trouble, but she never doubted me. She was quite reassuring."

"Did you tell her everything?"

"No."

"I don't think I need to ask what part you left out. May I ask why?"

"I don't want to worry her about such things. I know my wife; I know how she'll react. We're fine. She knows what she needs to know. My nightmares worry me because of her absence, not because of anything else."

"I don't agree Arizona. I think if you got to the point of revealing your dreams to Callie, you need to be open with her and tell her everything. Yes, she will worry, but I think it will help ease the load off your shoulders. You two are married. She needs to know what's going on so that the two of you may continue to work on getting past this."

"Dr. Wyatt, I think we're well right now. In fact, we've been great these last few days. My opening up as much as I did seems to have quelled some of my insecurities. Calliope has been amazing. We haven't been this great since the nightmares began; I think we can continue down this path little by little. I think my nightmares will fade with time."

"I respect your decision Arizona, but I don't agree…"

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><p>Arizona had walked out of the psychiatrist's office at the end of her appointment, feeling as if she were no longer on the same page as her therapist. Dr. Wyatt had degrees, sure, yet she didn't <em>know<em> Callie like Arizona did. Therapy is supposed to guide you so that you can find the answers within yourself. Arizona thought that the mission, in that aspect had at least, been accomplished.

She took the remainder of her day off and spent it wisely. She ran errands that needed doing, finishing off her outing with a trip to Assagio Ristorante, one of Seattle's best Italian restaurants and Callie's favorite, for some takeout.

She arrived at home and quickly set the table; knowing Callie was due from work within the hour. She set the food in the oven to keep it warm and jumped in the shower. The stress she'd been feeling for weeks slowly spread down her spine and limbs as it left her body. Tonight was going to be a night to remember. Callie and she hadn't had a romantic night together since their honeymoon, and in Arizona's opinion it was long overdue. They'd been working on getting pregnant, and that along with their schedules had left out the romance and simple gestures leading up to their lovemaking. Arizona chose an indigo blue simple lace appliqué slip and matching kimono as her outfit. She styled her hair curly; knowing her wife preferred her curls. She prepared the room with rose petals and music so low it could only be heard within the room's walls. The candles were placed, all they needed were lighting. Giving the room one final sweep, she headed back to the kitchen to set out the food and wait, glass of wine in hand, for Callie to come home.

Ten minutes later, an exhausted-looking Callie walked through the door, absently going on about the day she'd had and the surgery she'd gotten delayed with. When she finally managed to look up, her jaw dropped as she took in her surroundings. Her eyes glazed over with desire as she stared straight into Arizona's.

"Baby, this is great! You did all this for me? What are we celebrating?" Callie asked as she stepped towards her wife.

"We aren't celebrating anything Calliope. I just thought after the weeks of craziness we've had we could get some relaxation and a good meal in there. I was running errands all day so I didn't have time to prepare a meal, I went to Assagio's and got your favorite instead. It probably tastes better anyway." Arizona said, a smile graced her features as she extended her hand, a glass of Callie's favorite red wine towards her wife.

Callie chuckled at the comment. Arizona wasn't the disaster she once was in the kitchen, quite the opposite and both knew it. Yet with time constraints, backup definitely had to be called. Callie looked at her wife from head to toe, mesmerized at how stunningly beautiful Arizona looked. If it were up to her, they could certainly skip over dinner and she could just have her then and there. She knew Arizona had gone through lengths to make this a great night for them, so she gave her a beaming smile and took the proffered glass and took a seat.

"This looks great Ari, and it would've been amazing regardless of the chef, you know I love your cooking; but it comes nowhere near to how amazing you look. I still can't believe you went through all this trouble. I feel so underdressed now."

"No worries my love. It was my day off; I wanted to do something nice for you. And, if you're a good girl, there may be dessert."

"Dessert huh? Well, I better be on my best behavior. Dessert looks incredibly delicious and inviting."

Their candlelight dinner went well. Callie spoke of the surgeries she'd had that day and filled Arizona in on the gossip she'd missed at the hospital. She'd had a particularly difficult surgery on a musician who'd shattered his wrist in a car accident. The surgery had gone longer than expected, but with therapy and time she was confident he would be able to make a full recovery.

"This food is amazing Ari. Now I know why we like that place so much! We have to go there more often."

"Indeed, it was exquisite. We'll make a reservation next time we both have a day off together. Do you mind getting me another glass of wine while I go freshen up a bit?"

"Sure. I'll be right here waiting for you."

Callie rose from her seat and headed towards the wine bottles. She poured Arizona another glass of white and she got another glass of red for herself. Today had been a hectic day, but it had ended perfectly. She'd no idea her wife had this in store for them; it had been a nice surprise. She was almost sad to see the end of their pleasant dinner… until she heard her wife from the other room.

"Calliope, do you have room for dessert? Our night isn't over yet…"

Callie walked slowly over to their closed bedroom door. The lights were out, yet there was a faint glow. She opened the door to see a candlelit room covered in rose petals. Arizona lay on the bed, her kimono opened to reveal her slip and round, full breasts. Callie's eyes raked from Arizona's toned legs up her flat abdomen, past her hard nipples and went straight for her eyes. Arizona's eyes, which typically sparkled blue, were now as dark as Callie had ever seen as she took in her wife; Callie knew hers were as well.

Callie gulped, trying to maintain some sense of control as she slowly made her way over to the bed and her wife. She handed Arizona her wine glass, and spoke softly.

"That meal was incredible Ari, but now that is the farthest thing from my mind. Here's to you. Thank you for a wonderful surprise, for being so attentive and caring, for making nights like this for us. I love you Ari." Each woman took a sip of their wine before discarding their glasses.

"Come here, I want to show my wife how much I love her." Ari said as she took a hold of Callie's hand and pulled her down on the bed.

A hot trail of desire built inside Callie as Arizona kissed and slowly made her way down her body, removing articles of clothing as she went. Arizona removed her kimono, and settled her body over Callie's. "Te amo" she said, as she kissed Callie and began to knead her breast slowly, her thumb circling the areola and teasing the hardening nipple. She didn't know Spanish, but she had taken it upon herself to learn enough phrases which pleased her wife when she heard them in bed. It had taken a while, but she'd mastered enough to her liking. She made her way to Callie's left breast and began tracing circles on her nipple before taking it between her teeth and pinching slightly, hearing Callie moan beneath her.

"You're wearing too much clothing Ari. Let me help you with that." Callie raised herself off the bed and lifted Arizona's arms above her. She let her hands trail down Arizona's side, eliciting a wave of desire from the blonde and slowly raised the slip up and off her body. Realizing Arizona wore nothing else, she moaned again and pulled her down on the bed with her once more.

Arizona hovered over Callie's body as she rubbed their chests together, her mouth kissing and sucking every part of Callie's neck she could get. She nestled herself between Callie's legs and joined their cores together. Both were wet and nearly came at the impact as they simultaneously felt a throbbing pulse at their center.

Arizona ground her pelvis into Callie's, their cores rubbing against one another in a slowly building rhythm. She continued to kiss Callie as she sped her thrusts into her wife. They were intense, yet still held an air of gentleness. She wanted Callie to feel everything, all of her. She wanted to make slow love to her wife, wanted to express everything she'd been feeling in the most loving way possible.

"Ari, I'm going to come. I'm so close baby. Harder, I want it harder." Callie thrust her pelvis into Arizona's, matching her pace, her orgasm building.

"Quiero escucharte venir. Quiero oirte, y saber que yo soy la que te hizo sentir asi." (I want to hear you come. I want to hear you, and know I was the one who made you feel that way.) The feeling of Arizona's hot breath in her ear as she whispered this drove Callie over the edge. Her orgasm hit; her eyes shot open and then closed just as quickly as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her body. She could feel Arizona slowing down yet she kept a steady pace as she let her lover ride out her orgasm. She felt Arizona shift. Just as she thought she was going to catch her breath, she felt Arizona's fingers enter her. She began to thrust her fingers in and out of Callie; her thigh applying pressure where she knew Callie loved it most. Callie's walls started clenching around her fingers, and she knew her wife's second orgasm was close. She continued to pump her fingers in and out of her wife, making sure to hit Callie's sensitive spot each time. She lowered herself on the bed, Callie's lips now right in front of her face. She licked at Callie's entrance as she continued to move her fingers in and out. She blew hot air onto Callie's clit before taking it in her mouth and sucking hard.

"Ari! Yes! Fuck me! Right there baby, harder!" Callie moaned as her second orgasm hit. Arizona continued her ministrations until Callie begged her to stop before she blacked out for lack of oxygen. Their lovemaking session had somehow turned rough, but Arizona didn't mind. If this is what her wife wanted, this is what she would have.

Arizona rested her head against Callie's breasts. She heard her wife's pounding heartbeat gradually decrease. To Arizona, there was no better sound in the world than Callie's heartbeat. It was soothing, a constant reminder that Callie was there, alive, and hers.

"That has got to be some of the best dessert I've ever had. Though I think you were slightly incorrect with that term Ari."

"What do you mean?" Ari asked, raising her head and looking into her wife's eyes, a slightly confused expression on her face.

"I wouldn't call it dessert yet. _I _haven't had anything. I think it's my turn, don't you?" Callie asked, a mischievous look on her face as she took Arizona in her arms and flipped them over. No, the night wasn't over yet…

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><p>Arizona was still floating on cloud nine as she did her rounds the following morning. She'd had the perfect evening with Calliope, who in return, surprised her with breakfast in bed the next morning. Both had rushed to the hospital after their morning activities had made them run a little late. She had an easy day: two short, routine surgeries. She knew Callie's schedule was a lot heavier than hers and that she wouldn't be coming home until later that night, so she'd volunteered to help Owen out in the pit for the latter part of her shift to make the day go by quicker.<p>

Lunch came and went; Callie had gotten stuck in a hip replacement surgery and had been a no-show. She'd texted letting Arizona know an emergency had just come in and to not wait for her. Arizona had later texted saying she would be meeting Teddy for a drink at Joe's after work since Callie was working late and that she would see her at home.

"I need the labs for Dr. Torres." April Kepner said to the lab technician, who turned around and headed to get the results. Callie had been finishing up on one of her surgeries and had sent April to get her patient's blood work stat.

"There are two sets for Dr. Torres here." The lab technician said as he handed April two envelopes.

"I'll just take them both and see which she needs. I didn't hear which patient she's working on, so I'll let her figure it out. Thank you." She replied, as she grabbed them and headed down to the OR floor.

"Dr. Torres, the lab technician said there were two envelopes for you." April said, handing Callie the results.

"What? That doesn't make sense." She looked over the labels. "One of them is mine; the other belongs to this patient. Thanks Kepner. Go scrub in and assist Dr. Hunt. I've spoken to him and there's a change of plans. He's taking over this patient; it's more his area of expertise. I'll fill him in on the patient's results."

"Yes Dr. Torres." April replied and headed into the scrub room.

Callie walked over to the attending's lounge after speaking with Owen. She quickly changed before sitting down and opening her test results. The wait had been killing her. She wanted to get going with treatment; she wanted to be able to give Arizona the baby they so desired.

Her heart stopped. It didn't make sense, the tests didn't make sense. How could they? This was the reason why she couldn't get pregnant? Tears began to fill her eyes as their content slowly registered in her brain. It didn't make sense; yet it did. She would never get pregnant. She would never be able to fulfill her dream, their dreams.

Callie gathered her things and practically ran out of the hospital. With the change in the emergency surgery, she'd gotten out of the hospital long before she thought she would. Arizona was still in the hospital, and Callie felt grateful it would take her longer to get home once she got out. She couldn't tell her this, not now. She needed to think; she needed to figure out what she was going to do. She knew what this diagnosis meant for her, and for Arizona. She didn't want to put her wife through that; she couldn't.

She headed to their park bench, the one which overlooked the city, and sat. She was alone, so she let the stream of tears fall freely. How could this happen to her? Why? Everything was perfect. She had the perfect life, the perfect partner and the perfect job… all they had wanted was a family. She sat there and thought of Arizona's words from the previous days. The words which had made absolutely no sense now haunted her. She'd told Arizona she wasn't going anywhere. She'd said they could work through anything together, and in her heart had meant it. Yet the more she thought of it, the more the realized she couldn't do it. She loved Arizona too much to put her through this kind of pain. She couldn't, wouldn't do that to her wife. She'd get over her. She'd probably hate her for the rest of her life, but she would have the opportunity to move on, to find someone else and build a life with them. She sat on the bench for a while longer, thinking of everything they'd gone through. Trial after trial had put their relationship to the test, and they'd surpassed each one. This one, no matter how much she thought of it, did not have an answer. Night had fallen on the city when she rose from her seat, and made her trip back to their apartment, ready to do what was necessary.

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><p>Arizona walked into the dark apartment and immediately felt a sense of unease. It was <em>too <em>quiet. Callie should've have been home by now, yet all evidence pointed to the contrary.

"Calliope?"

No answer.

"Baby, are you home yet? Sorry I'm late; Teddy kept me at Joe's longer than intended with stories about Henry. She's head over heels in love, that one." She made her way through the apartment, Callie was nowhere in sight. She was about to give up and head back into the kitchen for some more wine and her phone to text Callie when she saw an envelope on her nightstand.

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><p><strong>You know where this is headed… but I promise you, I love our girls too!<strong>


	11. Chapter 10

**3 chapters in a week... that has to be some kind of a record for me. my mind is racing with this story. seeing as how writing is the only thing keeping me somewhat sane, I should be updating another chapter very soon. thank you once again to WildImaginings for being my awesome beta and friend, I love you chica!=) This chapter is shorter, but I figured I got the point across well enough to leave it at this length. I really appreciate all the feedback I got from the previous chapter. Believe me, I know where you're all coming from, and your answers are coming! Callie is not the evil monster here, she just got dealt a very bad hand in the game of life. another asked about my other story; I'm thinking I'll be updating it soon, but I can't give a timeframe on that one, sorry:( I think maybe it's best that I finish this one since I seem to be on a roll and just stick to one story at a time. I'll try though! Enjoy!=)**

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><p>Arizona froze as panic ran through her body. There it was plain and clear, an envelope addressed to her, resting against the lamp on her nightstand. She ordered her limbs to move, but they didn't budge an inch. She forced her body to move, and after what seemed an eternity, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the envelope before her. Her light buzz long gone, she reached out for it with trembling fingers and hitched breath. The writing, without a doubt, was Callie's; she could recognize the elegant cursive anywhere. She removed the contents and extended the letter. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to slow her racing heart before she began to read.<p>

_My dearest Ari,_

_I don't even know where to begin with this. I'm so very sorry that I can't be here with you right now; I think if I were to even attempt saying this in person I would fall apart and you'd still know nothing__. Well, not exactly nothing. You've been the only person in my life that has been able to read my thoughts, my very soul, by just looking into my eyes. It is because of this very thing that I can't be here with you. I can't handle the thought of my causing you even more pain than what I am about to cause you._

_Ever since I met you, my world has completely turned around. I learned what it was to not only love unconditionally, but what it felt like to be loved the same way in return. You made me feel alive, protected and cherished, and I only hope that I made you feel that way as well. There are so many memories of you that I will keep in my mind, heart and soul forever, my love. I will always remember the very first time we met, the very first time your lips touched mine, and the very first time you said "I love you". Your beautiful dimpled smile, the way your eyes sparkled and spoke volumes as they danced before my eyes, will always remain with me. I will treasure the memory of you standing in front of me, looking as beautiful as ever, reciting your vows on our wedding day. _

_Vows...__ I know that with this letter comes the breaking of my vows__. I don't see another way out; I have to leave. Please believe me when I tell you I'm doing this because I love you and I don't want to put you through the indescribable pain I would if I were to stay. I think about what would happen if things were different… It breaks my heart to do this Ari, knowing well that not even a week ago you voiced your concern about this very thing__. It pains me to leave you and the perfect life we have made together._

_I don't want you to wait for me; I don't want you to look for me. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. Do whatever it takes Ari__, but please, strive to be happy; for me, for you, for us._

_I love you with all I am, and I will love you forever through eternity._

_Calliope_

Tears cascaded down Arizona's eyes as the letter fell out of her grasp. Her entire body shook violently, uncontrollable sobs escaped her throat. Pain, gut-wrenching, unimaginable pain, pounded against her chest as she let out a guttural wail. She was gone. Calliope, the one person she had ever loved completely; the one who vowed to be with her for the rest of their lives, through thick and thin, the one she'd imagined spending the rest of her days with, was gone.

This didn't make sense! She'd seen her that very morning; they'd had an amazing, unforgettable night less than 24 hours before. Things were better than ever between them. Arizona wracked her brain, trying to think of what could have possibly happened to Callie to make her do such a thing. Both had been at work that day. Callie's texts had been nothing out of the ordinary. She'd had the usual surgeries, with a couple of emergencies in between. The more she thought the less clear it became. There were no warning signals, nothing that could have prepared her for this. Callie loved her; they loved each other! They had built a life together. They were trying to have a baby! She couldn't be doing this. There had to be an explanation!

She rose from the bed and ran into the kitchen in search of her phone. Her fingers trembled on the small screen as she dialed Callie's number. It didn't even ring, and instead took her straight to voicemail.

"Calliope, please; we need to talk. I don't understand what's going on. Please don't do this. I need you to talk to me. Please baby, don't do this to us. I can't live without you. I love you." Arizona hung up the phone, shoulders slumped in defeat. The tears wouldn't stop, but she couldn't let them get in the way. She had to find Callie. She needed to find her before it was too late.

She threw the door open and went straight across the hall.

"Mark! Open the door! Mark!" She yelled, pounding on the door as if her life depended on it.

"Jesus Robbins, what the hell has gotten into-" Mark opened the door and immediately panicked as he looked over Arizona's features. "What's the matter? Is Callie ok?"

"She's gone Mark! I need your help!"

"Gone? What do you mean she's gone? She's probably still stuck in surgery. Calm down, you're overreacting…"

"No! I'm not overreacting, SHE'S GONE! I don't know what happened. I came home to find a letter saying she was gone and to not look for her. She's gone Mark!" Arizona sobbed as she leaned against Mark's chest and cried.

"Arizona, this doesn't make any sense. Are you sure it wasn't a misunderstanding? Why would Callie do such a thing?"

"I don't know; I can't understand it either. There's no reason why she would do something like this. I need your help. I _need_ to find her. I'm going to the airport. I may not be too late…"

"Let me grab a shirt, I'll drive you."

"No. I need you to start calling hotels, see if there's any place around here that she might have checked into for the night. It's not likely, but it's our best chance."

Mark was already dialing a number on his phone. "Teddy? It's Mark. I need you to come over here stat. Callie's missing. Arizona needs your help. I need you to take her to the airport for me… ok Arizona will be downstairs." Mark looked up. "Teddy will be here in 5 minutes."

"I can drive myself to the airport Mark!"

"You may well be able to, but I'm not letting you drive in the state you're in."

"Every second we stand around we lose time, I can't wait!"

"Arizona! 5 minutes! You can't drive like this. Callie's gone, who knows where, I don't want anything happening to you too. Lexie is here; I'll get her to help too. I'll call Cristina and she'll get Meredith. We'll do everything we can to find her."

"I have to call her parents. For all I know she may be going to Miami." Arizona said as she headed to the door again.

"Arizona?" She turned to see a grim-faced Mark. "Stay strong; we'll find her."

"Thank you Mark, for everything." Arizona said, as she left the apartment and made her way out to wait for Teddy.

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><p>Arizona rode back up the elevator, Teddy in tow. The airport had been a dead end. They'd found an agent willing to help and had run a detailed scan; Callie's name had not been on any departing flights nor was it in flights departing within the next week. Arizona didn't want to stop, but Teddy had managed to talk some sense into her. She'd convinced her to go back to Mark's and she how the search was going there before they did anything else.<p>

Mark's apartment was buzzing with activity. Each of the doctors had a cell phone in hand with a list of hotels printed off the internet in the Seattle area. Lexie, Cristina, Meredith, Alex, and Miranda were all there, trying to help in any way they could. They'd split up; Cristina and Miranda had begun calling hospitals and police stations. Mark looked up the second he heard the door open. His eyes met with Arizona's, and the look on his face was all she needed to know they hadn't been able to find her either.

Arizona's red-rimmed eyes, already pooled with tears, fluttered slowly before her knees gave out. Teddy reached out to her and caught her half a second before hitting the floor, the peds surgeon clinging onto her and crying for her missing wife.

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><p><strong>A review would make me feel great right now peeps<strong>


	12. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter. I had to think long and hard about this one. It has a little of everything; I wanted to make a big stride. The end of this story is quickly approaching. Thanks to everyone that has taken the time to review and for all the alerts. I see that my writing is upsetting some people or leaving them somewhat unsatisfied, but at least I'm glad I'm getting newcomers too. This chapter shows a more aggressive Arizona to an extent. It took quite a while to write. I can't please everyone, but at least it will give more answers. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Time of death: 7:34p.m."<p>

No one in the OR moved a muscle; they didn't dare. They'd spent the last 6 hours in surgery that looked promising only to have the patient code as it was time to close up. All eyes were on the blonde whose hands were still over the body. She'd allowed herself a few seconds to feel the loss of the kid lying before her eyes. She looked up to see everyone staring at her. She bit her tongue; she knew lashing out at her staff would do no good. It wasn't their fault this kid had died; it wasn't their fault she was in the mood she was in. She snapped her gloves and mask off before leaving the OR without another word.

It had been two weeks since Callie's mysterious disappearance. Arizona had been forced to take 3 days off work to gather her composure before going back. She'd tried everything she could think of. She'd spoken with Carlos and the rest of Callie's immediate family in Miami only to be told that Callie had not made any contact with them whatsoever. Carlos was outraged; he considered what Callie had done to be an abomination and had immediately hired private investigators to track his daughter down. He considered Arizona a daughter, and her pain only fueled his anger towards his daughter's actions and his desire to find her that much quicker. She'd refused to contact her parents; it was too soon and she didn't want to worry them with her situation. Unfortunately for her, someone else had taken it upon themselves to give them a heads up, though to this day she didn't know who, and she'd had her mother and father knocking on her door the next day.

Her family was there, Callie's family was behind her, and all their friends helped keep an eye on the blonde. She'd spent her days calling hospitals, police stations, hotels, and anywhere else she could think of that would give her some kind of clue as to Callie's whereabouts. She'd called the banks and credit card companies, monitored the phone call logs, but she hit a dead end everywhere she looked. The bank accounts and credit cards had not been touched. Her phone was still off. Wherever Callie was, she was either paying cash for everything or with some other means that neither she nor her family knew of. Once the shock wore off, Arizona had allowed herself to feel the pain. It overwhelmed her, it consumed her to the point where she had completely lost any shred of hope she'd had of finding a solution or her wife. That lasted all of two days; by the third, the anger had kicked in.

How could Callie do this to her? How dare she do this to her? Had their time together meant nothing? Had their wedding vows meant nothing to her? This wasn't Callie leaving Arizona at an airport because of duty; this was abandoning her at the most vulnerable of moments and ignoring the vows they'd taken not so long before. She had abandoned her, without as much as an explanation; she'd not even had the decency to do it to her face. No, even if by some miracle Callie returned or they managed to find her, Arizona wasn't so sure she could forgive her for this.

Realizing she could do no more than what Carlos' paid investigators were doing, she returned to work. It was her only salvation. Her smile was gone, her eyes had lost their brilliance; yet she worked non-stop, the tiny humans being the only ones giving her the will to hold herself together. It was at a time like this, when one died on her table, that she lost her resolve. She had rushed out of the OR and after notifying the family, had gone in search of the nearest on-call room.

*knock knock*

"This room is occupied." Arizona shocked even herself at the sound of her voice; it was hollow and lifeless.

"I know it is, and I don't care." Alex stepped inside and closed the door behind him, making sure to lock it. He'd seen Arizona nearly lose it in the OR right before she'd stormed out of there, and knew she needed to let out what was eating her alive.

"Go away Karev; I don't want to see anyone right now." Arizona replied, her head bowed as she refused to make eye contact.

"Well, you don't have to see me if you don't want to, but I'm sitting here anyway." He said, as he sat next to his friend and mentor.

"I'm not in the mood to deal with anyone. GO AWAY." Alex didn't move. Once Arizona realized he wasn't going anywhere, she stood and started to head towards the door. A hand on her wrist held her back.

"Don't! Don't touch me."

"Why, what are you going to do, hit me? You're quite puny Robbins, I'm sure I can take it."

"Alex! Let me go!"

"That's not going to happen Arizona. You've been walking around like a zombie for the last two weeks. You're going to stay here, and you're going to deal with your demons. Sure, you're here, and you've not let what's going on affect your work or your bedside manner with the kids, but look at yourself," he continued, dragging her to the tiny mirror. "What do you see?"

"I don't see anything; I don't see anyone; not anymore."

"That's exactly right. And you know what? It's a load of crap. Because this?" he said, as he looked her up and down, "This isn't the Arizona Robbins I know. The Arizona Robbins I know wouldn't be crumbling before the face of the unknown. The Arizona I know is a good man in a storm; a strong, confident woman, who doesn't let anything get in the way."

"Maybe I'm not the Arizona Robbins everyone thought I was."

"That's bullshit Arizona."

Arizona stared back at Alex, as if she'd been slapped. "You have to remember who you're speaking to Karev; I'm still your attending."

"Then fucking act like it. So Callie left, so what? Do you think that any of this is on you? No, this is on her! You did nothing to her but love her, and look how she repaid you."

"You have no idea what's going on Alex! Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong! Besides, you're not exactly the one with great advice for this type of situation."

"This isn't about me. You have no idea what's going on either Arizona! She just up and left you! No explanation, no nothing!"Alex slightly taken aback with Arizona's retort, but if this was what it was going to take for her to let out some steam, so be it.

"I already got that memo, thanks." Arizona said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You may have, but you haven't done anything about it. She hasn't contacted you; you've no idea where the hell she is or if she's even coming back." Alex put his hands on Arizona's shoulders as he tried to get her to look at him. "You know the answer to that Arizona, deep down, you know. She's gone. She's gone, and she's not coming back. You have to accept it. You have to forget about her and move on!"

Arizona grabbed Alex's upper arms and shoved him away angrily. Tears of anger filled her eyes. He was right and she knew it, they both did. Alex stepped forward once again and tried to put his arms around her only to have her forcefully push him away again. She may have been a puny little thing, but she could definitely have some force behind her blows. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her wrestle against him as she tried to push him away. "She's gone; she's really gone," she said, as she stopped battling against him and buried her head in his chest.

Alex carried her and sat her on the bed once again. He sat next to her as she continued crying; he'd sit there all night if he had to. He wasn't one to show emotion; but this was Arizona Robbins. This was the woman that had taken him under her wing; the one that was helping him, molding him into one formidable peds surgeon. She'd given him a chance to go with his instincts and had seen him prove himself. She'd backed him up when trouble had arisen with Stark. She'd stood by him when everyone else had turned their back on him; he would do anything for this woman. He sat there and held her, long after she'd cried herself to sleep.

Arizona felt a strong arm wrapped around her and her eyes popped open. No, this was not Calliope's arm; she was gone. She turned her head to see Alex, his back and head against the wall in what looked to be an uncomfortable position, his right leg under his outstretched left, snoring softly. A small smile crept over her features as her heart swelled with gratitude. Alex had stayed with her the whole time to make sure she was ok. She silently thanked whatever higher power existed for blessing her with such wonderful friends. She slowly eased her way off the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. She saw him shift on the mattress into a more comfortable position and continue sleeping.

"Thank you, Alex." She whispered quietly as she grabbed the shoes she'd not even felt removed and headed out of the on-call room, making sure to lock it so that no one would disturb her friend.

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><p>"Dr. Robbins, Arizona, I'm so sorry I haven't seen you lately. How's Callie's research going?" Lucy Fields had spotted Arizona in the cafeteria as the peds surgeon attempted to eat. Arizona had asked Richard that they keep Callie's resignation between them for now. He'd agreed without hesitation, and instead spread the rumor that Dr. Torres had taken a leave of absence for work related to her cartilage research. The nurses had picked it up and had spread it like wildfire.<p>

"Hi Lucy. Calliope's doing well, thank you. She's been incredibly busy with research. She's been meeting with some of the most renowned doctors in her field to formulate the implementation of the cartilage into surgical procedures."

"That's wonderful; it has Harper Avery written all over it. I would've thought she'd let me know what was going on though; she had seemed so eager to continue her treatment."

"An opportunity came up that she couldn't refuse."

"That's good. Well perhaps when she gets back we can continue; her results looked really good. Everything is within limits. I'd say your odds of getting pregnant actually are working well in your favor."

"I didn't think she'd gotten the results back yet; she didn't mention them."

"Perhaps the lab still has them. I get a copy automatically, but I didn't get a chance to discuss them with her since she didn't go to our last appointment."

"That must be it. If you can excuse me Lucy, I have a surgery. Thank you for the news; I'm sure Calliope will be as pleased as I am." Arizona didn't give Lucy time for a reply as she stood and hurried out of the cafeteria.

Her mind was reeling as she hurried through the halls of the hospital with only one location in mind: the lab. Test results; Callie had never mentioned test results to her. Callie would've told her about the results the minute she got them, yet she hadn't mentioned them. It didn't make sense; Lucy had just told her everything was perfectly fine; better than expected even! Callie hadn't gotten those results; something else must've happened…

"I need the test results for Dr. Torres, ordered by Dr. Fields." She told the technician.

"I apologize Dr. Robbins, but those results are confidential. Dr. Torres and Dr. Fields are the only ones that have access to request them."

"I don't have time for this. Listen to me, and listen carefully. I am Dr. Torres' wife. I have a power of attorney on her medical records and care. Verify whatever you need to verify; everything is in her medical file. You have two minutes to get me those results before I have your badge for incompetence!" Arizona was done playing nice. She was going to get answers, and fast.

"Yes doctor," the technician said, fear in her voice, as she immediately got to verifying documents. One minute later, the technician held out a shaking hand, hands wrapped around a thin envelope. "Dr. Torres' lab results, Dr. Robbins."

Arizona grabbed the envelope, and tore it open. After a few seconds of reading, her eyes reached the bottom of the page. She felt weak at the knees. This didn't make sense. These results were nothing like what Lucy had just told her.

"Are you sure these are Dr. Torres' lab results? Her own, not a patient's?"

"Yes Dr. Robbins; that is a copy of the results for the labs Dr. Torres had done."

"Did Dr. Fields receive a copy of these results?"

"Yes doctor, the attending automatically gets results sent to them."

"No, there's something wrong here; Dr. Fields didn't get these results. How are they sent to her?"

"Dr. Fields has them sent straight to her e-mail."

"Verify that what you sent her is the same as what you're showing me."

"It's all the same Dr. Robbins, she receives a—"

"Check it!"

The technician punched in a few keystrokes and brought up the results on the screen. His face went pale. He printed out a copy and held it out to a waiting Arizona, whose patience was wearing thin.

"These are the results sent to Dr. Fields." The technician stated as he cowered behind the desk.

Arizona looked over the results. They were not the same; these results stated exactly what Lucy had told her in the cafeteria. What the hell was going on here? One set of results was perfectly normal, with everything pointing towards a green light on their plans. The other had abnormalities and levels that were standard in an advanced cancer patient; a terminal patient.

"These are two completely different lab results! Which of these are Dr. Torres'?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Robbins…"

"You're sorry? Which are the correct results?"

"The ones Dr. Fields received are the right ones; the system sends them automatically. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. The results must've gotten mixed up with another of Dr. Fields' patients when we printed them out."

"They must've gotten mixed up? OF COURSE THEY GOT MIXED UP! Have you seen these? Do you know what these say?"

"Yes doctor, I just saw them. I am truly sorry; this shouldn't have happened."

"Don't waste your breath telling me something I already know. Did my wife receive a copy of the results?"

"Yes doctor."

"You gave her a copy of incorrect results; results that weren't even hers! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

"I apologize, Dr. Robbins-"

"Save it! I don't want to hear excuses for your mediocrity. This _will_ have consequences."

Everything made perfect sense now. _This _is what had driven Callie away. She'd gotten these results. Arizona was livid; though she didn't know what she was more furious about: the fact that her wife had gotten incorrect test results or that she'd just abandoned her without a second thought because of them.

People stared at her as she ran through the halls, documents clutched in her hands. She didn't stop until she reached the chief of surgery's door. Yanking it open, she went inside, unannounced.

"Dr. Robbins, may I remind you that one must _knock _before entering my office." Richard said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"I'm sorry chief, Richard. This can't wait. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you." Arizona replied, slightly out of breath. She sat and handed him the documents she'd just gotten. She told him of everything she'd learned, and of the misunderstanding it had led to.

"I'm so sorry Arizona; I can't believe this happened. What do you need?" Richard made a note to take proper actions with regards to the lab.

"I need a leave of absence Richard. I need to find my wife and kick her ass for disappearing on me."

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><p><strong>I'm still working on Arizona's standpoint. It's not going to be a situation of a quick kiss and make up, that I assure you.<strong>


	13. Author's Note II

Ok so I've had enough of the harrassing. I'm sure the rest of the writers on here will back me up in saying that we didn't sign up for this. There have been hundreds of Calzona stories written on this blog, some are bound to have similarities! I didn't just cut and paste someone else's story. I don't remember anyone else posting anything similar to the main plot on my story, but on the off chance there is someone out there, then I will surely apologize. I am human, and I haven't read every single story on here. As of now, anonymous reviews have been disabled. If you're going to be accusing me of plaigiarism, then at least have the guts to do it with an actual screen name.


	14. Acknowledgement

I wanted to take yet another A/N to acknowledge the amount of feedback I got from this last note I posted to you all. It was brought to my attention that the story I was accused of copying was "I Miss Everything About You" written by none other than Donteatblue.

First off, I want to acknowledge that I have, in fact, read this story. In my opinion, Donteatblue is one of the best writers on this site all around. The stories I've read written by her have a carefully planned plot, great character development and excellent grammar: some of the most important things I look for as a reader. We both started our stories at around the same time; I began mine roughly a couple of weeks before she did. That said, she is much better than I am at updating and finished her story long before I progressed on mine. There are a few similarities here and there; this I do not deny. However, anyone who has actually taken the time to read both of these stories in their ENTIRETY will realize that there are major differences between the two, as it has kindly been pointed out by several people, one of them being her beta. (thank you Jemicus) The events following and reasons for Callie's disappearance, though similar in a vague manner at first sight, are completely different once the story develops. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Donteatblue for her graciousness in giving input in this matter she was dragged into by a person who has nothing better to do with their time.

I think I've done my job of acknowledging the fact that I in no way intended offense or copying of any kind when it comes to Donteatblue, or any of the other writers on this site. I respect her as a writer and enjoy her stories, nothing more. As of today, there are 1,255 Calzona stories on this page. While I am a HUGE fan, I can assure you, I've not gotten around to reading them all. Similarities are going to be everywhere; yet we all do our best to make our stories unique.

My story revolves around Arizona and her premonitions brought on by lucid dreaming; Callie's disappearance is not brought on until later. Flags have also been raised on this; yet that is regarding the validity of it and everyone's personal viewpoints on the subject. I felt like writing about it because I experience lucid dreaming practically daily, and know exactly what it's like to go through those nightmares Arizona went through. Yes, I want to be creative, but I also want to write about something I know about or at least know enough from research I've put in. Many of you who have read 'Another Chance' have commented on the fact that the medical aspect of the story sounds very credible; that's because I put in HOURS of research into each chapter to make it as accurate as possible. Those of you unsatisfied with the sex scenes; well I've not much to say about that. I'm not experienced in that area in the least; the extent of that writing is what you've seen on the 3 fics I've worked on. I've tried to make it from both our girls' point of view; but you have to remember something. While Another Chance and To Live Again are both about Callie and Arizona, I leaned more towards Callie in Another Chance since Arizona was unconscious for half the story and had the sequel revolves mostly around Arizona and her point of view.

I want to thank everyone who spoke up and supported this story and its authenticity. It means a great deal to me as a writer to have people follow and like my story. The fact that I have so many of you reading it is in great part what drives me to continue. I'm not a professional writer, nor will I be one anytime in the near future. I do this for fun, and because I wanted to attempt to give a little of the pleasure I get from reading stories from everyone else out there. Neither I nor any of the thousands of other writers on this site are in any way obligated to write and post stories on here. We don't get any monetary profit out of it. We all put time into this (though some are better than others and I admit I need work on this) to give you all a good read. If you don't like what you're reading, no one has a gun to your head forcing you to do it. To all the cowardly anonymous reviewers harassing us, get a damned life and leave us the hell alone.

As a special thank you for your support and after having put you through yet another author's note today, I've posted the next chapter. I was planning on waiting a couple of days, yet I couldn't resist after seeing how today played out. I feel quite honored to have you as readers and truly hope that those of you who actually read this for pleasure, continue to enjoy it.

-GreysCalzonaLover


	15. Chapter 12

**Ok, I know what you're all going to say. When I began this with "Another Chance", it started before Tim's or Barbara's names were revealed. To maintain consistency, I didn't go back to change it in "AC" and decided to keep with it on this story=) **

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><p>"Danny, I'm quite sure you're busy little brother; but I'd really like to ask for your help on something." Arizona wasn't one to pray; in fact she never really did pray in her youth or early adulthood. Her father was a firm believer in God and country, but he never forced any of his religious beliefs on his daughter. If anything, Danny's premature death had shut him down. No, Arizona hadn't believed in the power of prayer until Callie had come along. Danny had been more than a brother while growing up; he'd been her best friend and confidant. His death devastated Arizona, yet their conversations continued. She'd talk to him randomly, whether it was to comment on her day or celebrate another tiny human's life being saved. She also talked with him when she needed to vent, or when she needed help. Sure, this was always a one sided conversation to the naked eye; yet she always felt he answered her in some way, she always felt him watching over her.<p>

"You know what this is about. Calliope is still missing; and I really need your help finding her. She said she loved me and that she wanted to stay with me; yet here I was, thinking she abandoned me because she didn't want me anymore. I thought she couldn't face us not being able to get pregnant anymore, and that I somehow wasn't enough for her. Now everything has come to surface. She's gone, and she doesn't even realize the mistake she's made. I want to find her. I want to beat the crap out of her for doing this to me… you know what I mean."

She took a breath, as unwanted tears began to cloud her vision.

"I've been in bed all night thinking about this; what this means. I try to put myself in her shoes and see how I would've reacted… would I have just run away? I'm the one that has that reputation in the relationship damnit; yet I can't fathom having done that. She should've known that I was in this for the long haul. I would've loved her forever; I will love her forever. I would've taken care of her, done anything in my power to make her better… if that wouldn't have been possible? I would've spent the rest of our time together trying to make her happy. I can't answer for her, because I know what I 'think' I would've done had I been the one in her place, but I can never be sure. I don't know if I could've handled knowing I put her through such pain of seeing me die little by little each day, knowing how much she loved me. This doesn't mean she's off the hook Danny; I am still really angry at her. At least now I know why she did what she did, and that she is going to be ok. So can you give me a hand, please? Can you give me some kind of sign; point me in the right direction? I'm at a loss. I've searched. Everyone has searched and it's like the earth just opened up and swallowed her. I know it is incredibly difficult to find someone who doesn't want to be found; but please little brother, I'd appreciate any help you can give me. She's my Calliope; she's my everything. Thank you for watching over us. I know that wherever she's at, she's safe because she has you keeping an eye on her for me. I love you Danny."

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><p>Richard had granted Arizona her leave of absence; he wasn't going to say 'no' and he really wanted both of his doctors, his friends and colleagues, back on the same page. Arizona had spent the first couple of days turning the apartment upside down, looking for anything at all that could give her some kind of clue as to where Callie had gone. She didn't really have much to go on; the only thing missing from Callie's side of the closet, as far as she could tell, was a backpack. Her tennis shoes were gone, but Callie had so many clothes she didn't really notice anything missing there. Her car was still in the garage, the safe was intact; the bank accounts hadn't fluctuated. According to Carlos, her trust fund hadn't been touched. The only explanation Arizona could think of at this point was that Callie had had a different account, a separate account that no one had known about. There was really no other explanation that would make sense. She sat on the couch, glass of wine rested on the table. She tried to will her brain into slowing down so that she may think a little more clearly. She knew she was missing something, but she was so confused…<p>

"_Ari, why are you still charting? We're going to be late."_

"_I'm charting, because I am behind. I really need to get all of this paperwork in order if we are ever going to have a shot at an actual romantic getaway. We're supposed to leave 4 days! I'm still so far behind. I can't leave poor Alex with all of this, go on vacation, and expect to come back and have it all still be afloat."_

_"I know baby, but we're going to miss dinner. We'll stay late tomorrow, I promise. I'll help you catch up with your paperwork, ok?"_

"_Who is going to do your charting?"_

"_Avery, he's very gung ho; I've had him work with me for a while now, I leave my department in good hands."_

"_Does that mean you think Alex is incapable of running peds while I'm away?"_

"_No, I didn't say that. Besides, you know that ortho has always had fewer patients than peds. It's a lighter workload, so there's a lot less paper to deal with."_

"_Alright, I'm coming. But if we end up stuck here instead of on a plane to our mini vacation paradise in Hua—huatlco; I can't even say it right! Whatever, I'm going to make sure to remind you it was your fault."_

"_It's _Huatulco_ mi amor; and don't worry, I'll keep that in mind." Callie said as she laughed softly and shook her head at her girlfriend's silliness._

_Callie and Arizona had barely made their 8:00 reservations at Arizona's favorite French restaurant. Both had ordered, and were now trying to relax and let the hectic workday fade away._

"_Tell me again why it is that we're going to Huatulco instead of Cabo? I mean, I can understand Mexico is a lot closer than Spain, but why not Cabo?" Arizona asked with a pout._

"_Baby, Cabo is gorgeous, I know; but Huatulco is too. It has beautiful beaches and amazing views. It also has one other thing that Cabo doesn't: it's quiet. Huatulco is one of Mexico's hidden treasures when it comes to beaches. Not many people go there, preferring instead to go to Cabo, Acapulco, or Cancun. That's half the beauty of it; we're going to get the peace and quiet we want, while having all the luxuries and views we want. I don't really care where we end up; I just want to have a room that is either soundproof or has walls thick enough to not have to worry about people thinking I'm killing you. If you really want to go to Cabo, I'll change the reservations and we'll go to Cabo." Callie finished, managing to sound nonchalant about their destination._

"_Ok, I'm sold. Huatulco it is. I just don't get it what it is with you and these random small places…"_

"_I know what you're thinking Arizona. I love Venice and Rome, Paris and Sevilla, Cancun and Cabo as much as the next person. I've been there; done that. It is an amazing experience, yes, but there is a time for everything. You want a vacation where we're going to be exhausted because of all the running around and sightseeing we did during the day with no sleep during the night; or would you rather have a small romantic place for just the two of us, where we can just be, relax, make love, and enjoy our time together without having to worry about jetlag?"_

"_I see your point. You're right; we're definitely doing Huatulco. You're going to have to tell me about more of these places… I'd love to share these experiences with you."_

"_There are so many places I've been Ari; I did a lot of travelling when I was younger. Europe is my favorite, but there are also many other places I could tell you about. I've traveled all over Mexico; I know it like the back of my hand. My father always wanted Aria and I to have as normal a life as possible; so we went the public school route until I got to college. I won an academic scholarship my junior year in high school, it got me to see so many places where I'd love to live someday. I'll have to give you a taste next time we go to Miami…"_

Arizona's eyes popped open as she lifted herself off the couch. It was morning; she'd somehow fallen asleep on the couch the night before. Miami. In that instant, she knew the path to finding her Calliope went through Miami. She looked up, closed her eyes, and smiled. "Thank you Danny."

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><p><strong>Reviews are awesome=)<strong>


	16. Chapter 13

**Hello All! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! I've been having some trouble with getting my thoughts together as of late, so it took me a little longer to get this chapter finished. I hope you hit that review button and tell me if you like it or not! FYI: in case you were curious, this scholarship program does exist. The writing I do here will not even begin to give you an idea on just how amazing the experience is. If you are curious about seeing pics or anything, you can visit: www dot rutaquetzal dot com (It's all in Spanish though)**

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><p>"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Miami International Airport. The captain and his crew would like to thank you for flying with us this afternoon. We hoped you enjoyed your flight and wish you a pleasant stay in Miami."<p>

Arizona was already on her feet, bag in hand, waiting for the hatch to be opened. She had hated airplanes with a passion for as long as she could remember. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. The bad part was already over for crying out loud, she was already on the ground. Having traveled first class, she was one of the first off the plane. It didn't take her long to navigate the extensive Miami airport; she'd become familiarized with it enough to take the quick routes.

She'd called Carlos that very morning after waking from her memory of Callie and her discussing their vacation to inform him that she was flying down. He offered to send his jet for her, and had instead had a 1st class ticket waiting for her at the counter when she downright refused. She hadn't told him about her discovery; she'd thought it best to wait and do it in person. She knew how much this man loved his daughter and how this situation had affected him; the least she could do was be there to comfort him when the inevitable guilt hit. He'd had a car waiting for her, and within the hour the luxury sedan was pulling into the expansive Torres Estate. Despite the large number of staff working for him; it was Carlos himself who welcomed Arizona at the door with a bone crushing hug.

"Arizona, mija, I'm so glad you're here." Carlos stepped back, allowing her to enter the mansion.

Arizona had been there several times while visiting the family with Callie; yet she still hadn't quite adjusted to the size of the place. It took her a little to adjust every time. Her family was well off growing up, but this would be like comparing a Cadillac to a Ferrari.

Carlos, wanting to speak to his daughter-in-law in private, led her to his office. His wife was at work, trying her best to keep herself busy in order to keep her mind from drawing up scenarios on the possible whereabouts of their daughter.

"Have you heard any news of Calliope?" Carlos began as he gestured for Arizona to take a seat beside him.

"Carlos, one of the reasons why I'm here, is because I felt like I needed to tell you this face to face. You know and feel how difficult it has been to process Callie's sudden disappearance. We have all practically lost our minds worrying about her safety. Well, I can tell you now that at the very least, she is not in any immediate danger."

"How do you know that Arizona; has she contacted you?" Carlos' face was clouded by confusion.

Arizona took his hands in hers and tried to offer the best support she could. She squeezed Carlos' hands and looked straight into his puzzled blue eyes.

"No, she hasn't contacted me; but I now know why she left… As you know, we've been trying to get pregnant. Calliope has been having trouble conceiving for some unknown reason. A few weeks ago, she went to see one of our doctors at the hospital to begin a new treatment in hopes of bettering our chances. This doctor had her do some routine evaluations and labs. The reason Calliope left is because of the results she got in those labs… She—"

"What's wrong with my daughter, Arizona?"

"That's the problem here Carlos; there is absolutely nothing wrong with her."

"Then why would that be the issue?" Carlos was getting more confused by the second.

"I ran into her doctor at the hospital yesterday, and she told me of Calliope's results, and how they were better than imagined. That made me remember the fact that she'd had that work done and had never mentioned test results to me. I went straight to the lab to get a copy of the results. It turns out the lab made a mistake; they gave Calliope the wrong results and now she thinks she's terminal."

"I don't understand. How could the lab give her the wrong results? How do you know she didn't get the right ones?"

"I verified this information with the technician. The attending doctor gets a copy of the results sent automatically from the system once they are generated. The copy Calliope got had been printed and assembled by one of the technicians. I don't know how it happened, but the envelopes with the results of another of her doctor's patients got mixed up."

"This is an outrage! How could this have happened? What kind of lab would make such a mistake?"

"I'm just as angered as you are Carlos, if not more. Calliope got the results she did and just took off without a word. She's a doctor, a DOCTOR; and she just left. I don't understand her reasoning, and I'm not going to understand it. The important thing here is that at least now we know she is ok."

"That doesn't make things much better at the moment Arizona, how are we supposed to find her? Even with those results being mixed up and her being healthy, where are we even supposed to begin the search? My private investigators have done everything they can and there is no trace of her whatsoever."

"That is the other reason I'm here Carlos. I've taken a leave of absence from the hospital. I may have an idea on where to start my search."

"What are you talking about? What could you find here in Miami?"

"Calliope once told me that she traveled a lot as a child; that there were many places she wanted to live, unknown and hidden to the rest of the world who lives in their bubble. She mentioned something about an expedition?..."

"Yes. My daughter won a scholarship her junior year of high school. Her mother and I were so proud of her. She always said that trip changed her life; it's what drove her to Botswana, and to later med school."

"She never really got around to telling me details about it. I was wondering if you had any information that could be of help…"

"I still don't know how something like this could help us find my daughter Arizona; we're talking about something that happened nearly 20 years ago."

"I honestly don't know either Carlos; something just tells me this is the path to take. Do you know where Callie would have any kinds of pictures or any information about this trip that could help?"

"Of course mija. She's always said this was the best experience of her life. Believe me when I tell you this didn't only influence her career path. Come with me." Carlos took Arizona's hand and led her out of his office and through a large corridor which led to the bedrooms.

"Now I know you've been in Calliope's bedroom before, but have you ever really _seen_ it?"

"Of course I've seen it; _how_ many times have we come to visit?"

"I think that now you may see things a little differently…" Carlos stopped before Callie's bedroom door, opened it, and motioned for Arizona to enter.

Arizona walked into her wife's now familiar bedroom. It was the typical bedroom one might find in parents' houses. The room was huge, yet there was a lot of open space. She hadn't really paid much attention to the detail in the room. She knew it was there and had seen it briefly during the 'official' tour of the residence, yet she'd never really examined it. In her mind, these were her wife's memories. It was good to know that part of Callie too, but an adolescent Callie had always been a bit difficult for her to picture. Besides, half the time spent in the room was used up in bed and the other trying to get each other there.

"Arizona, come here and look at this." Carlos said, motioning for her to join him by the desk area. "Pretty much anything you want to know about this expedition you can find in this space here. Callie called this her "ruta corner". She spent hours each day studying here, and she thought the memories of that trip were always a good motivator to continue when fatigue and apathy struck. There's also a website on it, I'm sure you'll find all the information you need here. I'll leave you to it, let me know if you need anything mija. Good luck!" He kissed her forehead and headed for the door.

"Thank you Carlos. I appreciate you doing this. I will let you know if I come across anything that may help us."

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><p>The desk was large enough to accommodate several textbooks, a desktop computer, and miscellaneous materials needed for the typical dedicated student. The wall in front of the desk had a large corkboard, covered in photographs and notes. Arizona had never noticed it before, but all the photos on it seemed to be taken around the same time. The people in the photographs varied, sometimes there were large groups of people, and sometimes it was just Callie with one or two at her side. All the people photographed wore the same t-shirts, some kind of cargo pants or shorts, and hiking books or sandals. Green duffle bag backpacks (which looked like they could've been army issued were it not for the large bird on the front) and a smaller backpack of the same color were carried by all the students in the photographs. Arizona had never really seen the look on Callie's face in the photos: there were some where she looked completely and utterly exhausted and others when she had one of her "are you seriously thinking I'm going to pay attention to you at this time of day" looks. Mostly though, she looked radiant and happy. Different landscapes were in the background; Arizona recognized some landmarks in Spain and others in the United States.<p>

There was a picture that stuck out: Callie was leaning against some kind of bar, a gallon of water in her hand and giving a lazy smile to the camera. Her tan skin looked dark, as if she'd spent many, many days in the sun. The sleeves of her button down khaki colored shirt were rolled up in typical Callie fashion, her hair blowing in what seemed to be a light breeze. Off to the side, it looked like the lens had managed to capture a waterfall. It looked like a hot day in a dry place, yet Arizona couldn't place it.

A couple of other pictures on the board also stuck out, because these didn't really seem to belong there, yet a part of Arizona felt they did. There was one of an indigenous little girl dressed in simple, yet colorful clothing. A multicolored shawl covered her head and upper body, a dress too big for her adorned her petite frame and she wore tattered, brown sandals. Her clothes looked worn but clean. Though she didn't smile, she spoke volumes with her eyes. She looked sad, curious, and cautious simultaneously. Her eyes told the story of a kid that had lived a hard life for someone so young.

Another picture that stuck out was of a group of buildings. They looked like army barracks from the outside; like they would only hold the essentials on the inside. There were only 3 buildings, made of solid concrete, with nothing but sky in the distance. A group of women, dressed in clothing similar to that of the little girl's, were against the wall on one of the buildings knitting what looked like clothing.

Arizona began to read the titles of the books that rested on one of the shelves on the desk. Several of them were small notebooks. She reached for one and noticed the words "diario de expedición" on the cover. She didn't know Spanish, but it was pretty clear she held a diary in her hands. Curiosity began to run through her body, but she decided she wouldn't invade Callie's privacy and thoughts when it came to this unless she had no other option. Yes, her wife had abandoned her and was now nowhere to be found, yet for Arizona there were still limits; she couldn't bring herself to violate Callie's privacy to the extent of reading a diary. Looking over the other material, she saw a standard-sized white handbook of some kind. This small, colorful bird was once again on the cover, its large tail reaching nearly bottom border. She flipped it open to find that it was a yearbook of sorts; lines of student pictures filled the pages. With the photograph came the name, country they represented, address, telephone number, and e-mail.

A small smile graced Arizona's lips as she continued to flip through the book. It held an itinerary of the trip: every single stop and activity the students would be doing throughout the course of their trip. Unfortunately for her, it was all in Spanish. It was this that prompted her to go in search of Carlos, albeit in much better spirits. Bringing him back to Callie's room, she asked about the photographs on the wall.

"Carlos, do you know where this picture of Calliope was taken?"

"Sure. That waterfall in the background is in Basaseachi, a small village in Chihuaha, Mexico."

"I won't even go there; I'll butcher it beyond belief. What about these pictures of the little girl and the women?"

"Those were taken when they visited Chihuahua, though I'm not exactly sure where. Callie mentioned there were quite a few stops along the way. I know it's in Sierra Tarahumara, because these are Tarahumaran Indians, but I don't know the exact location. The Tarahumaras live scattered throughout the mountainous region of the Copper Canyon and high sierras along the Sierra Madre. Why do you ask?"

"Well these photos grabbed my attention because they don't have any students in them, the area looks somewhat deserted and less developed than the other photographs…"

"Yes, well that is part of their lifestyle. Calliope spoke highly of these people. In her opinion, though she enjoyed the experience; it was a bit of an eye opener for her. The organization was a bit of a burden to them. A group of 500 people just came and invaded their space and land for a few days. They didn't really say much, but the discomfort was felt, or so I'm told."

"Is there a way we can find out where exactly this is? I found this handbook here, but it's all in Spanish. It has an itinerary that I was hoping you could translate for me. I was also wondering if we could get some kind of map that shows where they went during their stay in Mexico."

"Of course I can help you with that; though I'm still not sure I follow you Arizona."

"I know that this book, along with those photographs, will help lead me to Calliope, Carlos. I can't explain how or why I know this, but I need you to trust me on it."

"You have my support Arizona, you will always have it."

As Carlos set about translating the itinerary and making out a map and list for Arizona, she continued to look through the pictures and anything else she could find. She dissected the photographs, every single one, for some kind of hint. She noticed that there was one person that appeared in at least 1/3 of the pictures on the board. It may not be much, but it was worth finding out who this person was.

"Carlos, do you know who this is? He seems to be in a lot of the pictures." Arizona asked as she pointed to the young man standing behind Callie in a group picture.

"Mija, that's Ruben Martinez, one of Callie's closest friends. They met on the trip; yet he turned out to be from Miami as well. Go figure! 7 people were chosen to represent the United States, and the guy she ends up being the best of friends with is from the same city. I know he and Calliope kept in touch once they got back, but once they headed off to college they went their separate ways."

"Do you know if he still lives here?"

"No, he doesn't. He lives in Maryland now I believe. He's an attending in general medicine at Hopkins."

"I went to Hopkins! I don't remember him, and we aren't really that far apart in age. Perhaps he did his residency somewhere else."

"I think he did his residency in San Francisco."

"Do you know how I can get a hold of him? He may be able to help me get the answers I need."

"I have his e-mail address and telephone number in my office. He has been a very close family friend for a long time now."

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><p><strong>I'll post the next chapter asap!<strong>


	17. Chapter 14

**Hey peeps, I'm back! Sorry for the delay...my apoogies, especially to those of you who have written me over the course of the last couple of weeks. A new business, an accident and a lot of heavy medication kept me MIA for quite some time. It seems like what free time I have now is dedicated to web page creation. As fun as that is, it doesn't leave much room for other stuff. This chapter is somewhat short, but it's a step in the right direction. The next is nearly finished, so that should be up soon too=) Thanks for being patient with me! Enjoy!**

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><p>Arizona took a deep breath as she turned the laptop on and waited for it to load. She'd been on the phone with Ruben Martinez a few hours before. It had been quite the surprise for him to be hearing from none other than Callie's wife. He'd been unable to make the wedding, and as a result had yet to meet Arizona. He wasn't surprised to hear that she didn't know much about him. He knew a good portion of the 'ruteros' had adopted the whole 'what happened in Ruta stays in Ruta' philosophy; mainly to prevent it from losing its magic. He knew people outside the circle probably wouldn't be able to understand it anyway. Knowing this and figuring it must be important, he'd unhesitatingly agreed to chat with Arizona via Skype once his shift was done and see what it was his friend's wife needed.<p>

At 8:00PM on the dot, Arizona received a request to add Ruben to her Skype list. A few moments later, his face popped up on her computer screen and with it, their conversation.

"Good evening Dr. Robbins; may I call you Arizona?" Ruben asked, a small smile gracing his lips.

"Good evening Dr. Martinez. Arizona works great; I may not know you personally, but any friend of Calliope's is a friend of mine." Arizona replied.

"Calliope, huh? Well, there's a change. Callie would bite our heads off if any of us ever attempted to utter her full name. And please, call me Ruben. I do have to say this is quite a surprise, hearing from you. No offense, I just thought if I was going to hear from one of you two, it'd be Callie."

"Calliope's rule still stands; to this day only her father and I are allowed to call her that. I'm sorry to intrude on your day Ruben; I assure you these are very special circumstances. The reason I'm contacting you is because I need your help."

"I don't know how I could possibly be of help Arizona, but I can definitely give it a try."

"Calliope's missing. There was a huge misunderstanding and she left Seattle…"

"Missing? That doesn't sound like Callie."

"It was a huge misunderstanding. This isn't like Calliope; but this took us all by surprise. I'm not saying I agree with her decision, but I can see why she took off. The problem here is that my wife is missing and thinking that she's terminal, which is not the case. I need your help finding her."

"Arizona, I honestly don't know how I could be of help here. Sure, we still keep in touch, but she hasn't contacted me as of late. What makes you think she'd come to me?"

"No, I don't think she'd contact you either. The reason I contacted you was because I want you to tell me about more about this trip you two went on. Something tells me this could help me find my wife."

"We went on a summer trip over 10 years ago. It marked all of us in a way; we were never the same again."

"Can you please tell me about it? The places you went to, the people you met… anything in particular you may have seen change in Callie then?"

"Well it was quite the experience for us all really. There were about 300 students; 200 from Spain and the rest from Western Europe, Northern Africa, and from all over the Americas. There were 7 Americans total, with Callie and I, surprisingly, both representing Florida. Most of the students on this trip were middle class to upper class, so we were all in for a rather rude awakening. We were used to everyday luxuries like a roof over our heads, beds, private showers, clean clothes, as much food as we could possibly want and then some, ice, toilet paper; you can see where this is going. We slept in tents, showered when we could, at times there was just a big truck that came and washed us all down with a water hose. Toilet paper and clean water were precious and rare, so we had to really make the most of what we had. We got an average of 4-5 hours of sleep a night, sometimes even less. We attended lectures, visited a museum here and there, more lectures, hiked more than I'd ever hiked in my life. We learned about culture and history. I think the importance of Ruta; the meaning behind it really, was not what we learned. After all of these years, I could only give you a handful of facts of what was drilled into our brains so much then. What I got out of it was the friendships that were formed. We learned what it was to be a true team. We learned to watch each other's backs. If we were on a 40 km hike and I ran out of water, at least a dozen canteens would be thrown my way so I could make it through the hike; this considering we were all running low on our water supply. We all had at least 50-60 lbs of extra weight because of our gear, yet we'd take another person's tent or backpack when they were having a particularly difficult time going up a steep hill in the rain. We were exhausted half the time because there was so much to do with so little time and very little sleep. We were a tight-knit group. It was because of this that we are still in touch today; and why we treasure the experience now. It changed us for the better; not only for the duration of the trip, but for the rest of our lives. I learned to never again take something for granted. I think this trip, along with Botswana, was the reason that drove Callie and I into medical school."

"You were with Calliope in Botswana?"

"Yes, it was 3 of us ruteros who volunteered for the Peace Corps. The other, Esteban Moya, is a doctor as well."

"Esteban Moya, you mean, as in the world renowned neurosurgeon?"

"The one and only; he knew he wanted to be a surgeon, and decided to go into neuro after his best friend's father died of a brain tumor."

"You three sure have a history. I wonder why he didn't make the wedding either…"

"He's been locked up with a clinical trial; seems like he's on the verge of a breakthrough last I heard."

"I can definitely understand; a career, especially that of a surgeon, has a way of doing that to you. Friends of ours that live in Seattle couldn't make the wedding because of a surgery so it's totally understandable. I'm just surprised Calliope never told me any of this."

"I'm sure it's not because she was hiding it from you Arizona, it's just something that happened so long ago. Mostly, it's just a trip down memory lane whenever we bring it up. It was a marvelous, unforgettable experience; I'm sure she'd have shared it with you at one point or another. I mean, you're both surgeons, with hectic schedules. When do you have time to actually sit and talk about things other than what's going on at work or everyday stuff?"

"You have a point… well I do have a question, Ruben. Callie mentioned to me that there were a few places in Mexico where she could see herself living someday, if only for a few months. Can you think back to where she was speaking about?"

Arizona held her breath as she saw the man's face in the monitor before her scrunching his brow, deep in thought. There _had_ to be something to go on…

"Well, most of the places we visited in Mexico impacted Calliope; mainly because she said these were her roots. Now that I think about it, there is this one place…"

"Where? Where is it?"

"It's a tiny town in Chihuahua; it's called "Creel". It is considered to be the capital of the Tarahumara land, if you will. We were both impacted by that place; so small and poorly equipped. Not even the bare necessities were available to their people. Callie said time and again how she would return some day to help these people. If I'm not mistaken, Carlos now maintains the upkeep of a clinic there, free of charge to its inhabitants."

"How come Carlos didn't tell me that?"

"Well Arizona, I'm sure that if you wanted Carlos to give you a list of all the places where he has charitable projects, he would do so in a heartbeat, however extensive the list is. The man is one of the wealthiest people on the planet; he takes care of his family, and of his people."

"Do you know if Calliope ever went back there?"

"I know she was there for the opening of the clinic, but not much else. We took off to Botswana and then medical school started… there hasn't been time."

"If Calliope went to Mexico though, don't you think that would show up in her passport scans?"

"Not necessarily Arizona. Mexico isn't like going to Europe or South America. You fly into those countries, so the passport and visa verification is mandatory. Mexico only enforces that when you fly into one of its airports. I can tell you about the countless amounts of times I drove into Mexico with my family and they didn't ask for any kind of identification."

"So there wouldn't necessarily be a record of her entering the country…"

"That's right."

"Thank you Ruben; I cannot begin to tell you what great help you have been today. I don't if I can find Calliope, even by going to this tiny town and all of Mexico along with it. I do however, appreciate that you were willing to help out. Thank you for all the information you've provided me with. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like I'm on the right track."

"I'm glad I was able to be of some help Arizona. I truly hope that Callie is found soon. Please, keep me updated?"

"I sure will. Thank you again."

With one final parting, Arizona closed the program and into research mode. She spent the next couple of hours researching and reading anything and everything she could about Creel. It was a tiny town, less than 7,500 inhabitants. Their economy relied primarily on tourism because of the surrounding Copper Canyon and nearby waterfalls. It wasn't exactly a plan ride away; she'd have to fly into Chihuahua and then take a train that went at a whopping 40km/hr to get there. Looking over the research she came across, she doubted she'd be able to communicate properly. She didn't know nearly enough Spanish to accomplish what she needed; she'd have to get an interpreter. It wasn't until nearly another hour later that Aria came knocking on the door.

"Arizona, papá told me you were here." Aria entered the room and wrapped her arms around her sister-in-law in a strong embrace. "Have you heard anything? Any luck finding my sister?"

The two women then came and sat at the edge of the bed, Arizona still deep in thought.

"Not exactly."

"Papá filled me in on what you've told him; I think this is horrible, Callie leaving as she did because of the circumstances."

"We're going to find her Aria; that I assure you. I will look for and find your sister if it's the last thing I do. In fact, it looks like we may have a clue as to where to start…"

Arizona spent the next few minutes filling Aria in on everything she'd learned from Ruben. She then proceeded to tell her about her theory as to Callie's whereabouts, and decision to go into Mexico looking for her.

"So when do we leave?"

"What do you mean? I can't let you do this Aria; your parents are worried enough as it is."

"Arizona I love you, truly. My sister loves you, and so you've become a part of our family. I am 100% behind you on your theory, but really, there is no way you're going alone. You don't even speak Spanish. How the hell are you going to get around without even being able to communicate with people?"

"I was planning on getting an interpreter. Really Aria, this would do a number on your parents."

"Arizona my parents are already going crazy! I want to do this. I want to help; I CAN help. You need me for this, trust me."

Arizona shook her head as she laughed internally. Stubbornness sure ran in the Torres' household. She couldn't refuse this, especially when she knew she was in desperate need of help.

"I'll make our reservations." Arizona relented.

"Leave that to me dear sis. Get some rest; we leave in the morning."


	18. Chapter 15

**Hello All! Here's the next chapter! I'm grateful that my italics didn't go away. You're about to go into Spanish overload, but the parentheses and italics have the English translation. So begins Aria and Arizona's adventure in Mexico! Reviews are loved=)**

**Unfortunately I'm about to crash. I had a ridiculously long work day bc of OT and I've been 'awake' for like 22 hours now. I'll give it another run through later on today. I'm sure there are some kind of grammatical errors, so my apologies!**

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><p>"Ms. Torres, the captain just wanted me to inform you that we'll be landing in Chihuahua in approximately 15 minutes."<p>

"Thank you Amanda." Aria thanked the flight attendant and turned her attention back to her sister-in-law.

She'd called the pilot the night before and quickly had everything set to fly out of Miami early the following morning. Now the two were somewhere over northern Mexico, accompanied by two bodyguards. The flight to Chihuahua was a relatively short one; though it seemed to stretch forever in the eyes of the two women. Arizona felt a bit of relief spread through her body as she felt the plane land. She really hated flying, and even though it had been a comfortable private flight, landing and taking off still got her nervous.

"Are you ready Arizona? You're in for quite a ride. We aren't taking the train; we're going to go by car because it is faster. It is still going to be a long ride because of the mountainous region; there are a lot of narrow curves and twists on the way."

"I don't care how long it takes Aria, I'm ready,." Arizona replied a she rose from her seat and prepared to exit the aircraft.

"Wait a bit Arizona; we have to wait for our transportation to be unloaded." Aria said as she motioned for Arizona to sit back down.

"Unloaded? You mean we're not getting a regular rental car here?" Arizona got more confused by the second.

"No, we're not. Our transportation came with us," she said, as she pointed to the GMC Denali SUV that was pulling up beside the plane.

"Um… Aria, is that huge thing really necessary for just us?" Arizona questioned curiously.

"Unfortunately, yes, it is. Papá always makes us bring the armored vehicle whenever we come into Mexico. I don't know how we both managed to leave the house without him coming with us. He said he'd feel a lot more at ease if we had this. The drug cartel situation and violence keeps getting worse here; Chihuahua is one of the most dangerous state capitals in Mexico. They are able to spot an outsider a mile away, and two women traveling alone who are clearly not from here is the perfect bait. At least with this we have a little more protection. We won't be travelling alone, but try to convince papá otherwise. I know it's a hassle, but believe me, it's for the best."

Arizona was starting to get a bit shaken. She personally thought they'd attract more attention in a big, SUV; even if it was an older model. Apparently that too, had been a guise for their safety. The SUV appeared to be at least 10 years old from the outside. It was dirty; the white paint barely visible beneath all the dirt that covered the lower parts of the vehicle. It didn't look anything out of the ordinary; it even had Mexican plates. She'd have to be a little easy on her father-in-law; he did after all just want their safety. It could've been worse: he could've sent a 'Beast' replica. Was Mexico really that bad? If Callie was indeed here, what the hell had she gotten herself into?

They wouldn't be staying in the city, but instead heading directly into Tarahumara land. Creel was a small and peaceful town, relatively speaking. Aria had made reservations at the hotel which gave them the best security. Arizona was grateful to have her sister-in-law along for the ride; she didn't know how she could've gone about this unknown side of Mexico alone. She'd heard about the violence escalating year after year, but she had no idea it had gotten to this degree. People getting killed and dismembered daily all over the country, shootings, roadblocks, robberies; it was horrible all around. She figured her being a Caucasian American didn't help matters; at 5'6", the blonde-haired blue-eyed 'gringa' stuck out like a sore thumb". Nowadays, sticking out in the crowd could quite possibly get you in a hostage situation in a heartbeat, even if you didn't have a cent to your name. Her mind preoccupied with finding her wife, she'd neglected to think about her own safety, and was now glad Aria had thought ahead for the both of them.

Aside from the transportation precautions, the bodyguards had also been briefed on the situation. They were supposed to be friends travelling with their wives. The proximity to the women would then be justified without raising too many flags; they'd tried to cover as many of their bases as possible. Tarahumara country did have a lot of tourist spots so that too, would help.

Arizona hadn't even wanted to get settled into the hotel, and instead decided to go straight into investigation mode. The rest/food on the plane had been enough for the time being. They set out in the direction of the clinic first to see if they could have any leads there. They took a good look around as they headed towards the small clinic in the center of town, both women looking for any possible sign that could lead them to Callie to no avail. The clinic seemed quite busy; there were a handful of people waiting to be seen. Aria walked straight towards the receptionist and directed her questions to her.

"Disculpe señorita, estoy aquí porque ando en busca de algo de información." _(Excuse me, I'm here in search of some information.)_

"¿Está aquí para ver al doctor? Tiene que tomar un número y esperar su turno. Hoy tenemos mucha gente, quizás tendrá que regresar después de la comida." _(Are you here to see the doctor? You have to take a number and wait your turn. We have a lot of people today; you may have to come back after lunch.)_

"No, no estoy aquí para ver al doctor…" Aria pulled a picture of Callie out of her purse and gave it to the receptionist. "Quisiera saber si ha visto a esta persona por aquí." _(No, I'm not here to see the doctor… I'd like to know if you've seen this person around here.)_

"¡La señorita Torres! ¡Sí, claro que me acuerdo de ella! ¡Estuvo aquí para la apertura de la clínica! El señor Torres es el que se encarga de los gastos de esta clínica. Desafortunadamente, no lo conocemos en persona, pero es un gran ser humano." _(Ms Torres! Yes, of course I remember her! She was here for the opening! Mr. Torres is the one that takes care of the expenses for the clinic. We've never met him unfortunately, but he is a great human being.)_

Arizona's ears perked up at the enthusiasm with which the receptionist spoke. She didn't understand half of what the woman was saying, but she knew one thing for sure: she knew who Calliope was. She felt a rush of emotions course through her body and turned to tell Aria what to ask the woman when she noticed Aria had gotten quiet before speaking again.

"Cree que podamos hablar en un lugar más discreto?"_(Do you think we can speak in a more prívate place?)_

"Pues en realidad no sé para qué, pero si desea podemos ir a uno de los consultorios. Pase por aquí…" _(I don't know why that would be necessary, but if you'd like we can go to one of the exam rooms; they're through here…)_

The receptionist led the two women down a hallway to one of the exam rooms; the bodyguards had stayed behind. When the door was closed behind them, Aria spoke once again.

"Le pido antes que nada, que por favor sea discreta." _(I'd like to ask, before anything else, that you please be discrete.)_

"Claro que sí señorita. ¿Qué es lo que necesita?" _(Of course miss, what is it you need?)_

"Lo que estoy a punto de decirle puede causarnos más problemas si todo mundo se entera de la razón por la cual estamos aquí. Carlos Torres es mi padre, y Callie es mi hermana. Desapareció y la estamos buscando. Cuando fue la última vez que vio?" _(What I'm about to tell you can cause us more problems if everyone were to find out what brought us here. Carlos Torres is my father, and Callie is my sister. She disappeared and we are looking for her. When was the last time you saw her?)_

"Usted es Aria Torres?"_ (You are Aria Torres?)_

"Sí, ese es mi nombre." _(Yes, that is my name.)_

"Es un placer conocerla señorita Torres, lástima que sea en estas circunstancias. Lamento decirle que no he visto a su hermana desde hace tiempo… desde que abrió la clínica." _(It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Torres; though it is a shame it is under such circumstances. I'm sorry to tell you that I haven't seen your sister in a while, since she opened the clinic.)_

"¿Está segura que no se ha parado por aquí? Tengo información que me hace pensar que quizás y haya venido a Chihuahua hace unas semanas. Cualquier información que me pueda dar sería de gran ayuda."_(Are you sure she hasn't been here? I have information that makes me believe she could've come by here a few weeks ago. Any information you could give me would be of great help.)_

"Estoy segura señorita, no la he visto… aunque yo como quien dice acabo de regresar de vacaciones. Quizás y deba de hablar con el doctor. Puede que él tenga más información. La familia Torres siempre es bienvenida aquí; es gracias a ustedes que tenemos trabajo y servicio médico gratuito para nuestra gente." _(I'm sure miss, I haven't seen her… though I practically just got back from vacation. Maybe you should speak to the doctor; he may have more information. The Torres family is always welcome here; it is because of you that we have a job and that our people have free medical care.)_

"¿Está el doctor disponible para hablar con él?" _(Is the doctor available so that we may speak with him?)_

"El doctor que se está encargando de los pacientes es nuevo, se tuvo que contratar a otro. El de planta ahora se ha ido a Chihuahua para comprar materiales, pero regresará por la tarde. Si gusta, deme su número de teléfono y le puedo avisar cuando el doctor esté disponible. Así quizás él le pueda visitar en donde se esté quedando. (The doctor in the office today is new; he was just hired because of the demand. The doctor that is in charge has gone into the city to buy supplies and he will be back in the late afternoon. If you'd like, give me your number so that I can call you when he is available. Perhaps he can go and see you where you're staying.)

"Está es mi información. Por favor dígale al doctor que me llame en cuanto pueda. Se lo agradezco señorita. Buenas tardes." _(This is my information. __Please tell the doctor to call me as soon as he can. Thank you very much; have a good afternoon.)_

After leaving her information with the receptionist, Aria led Arizona out of the clinic and back to the SUV.

"What was all that about, Aria? She knows something about Calliope?" Arizona was on the verge of exploding; she wanted some answers!

"No, she doesn't have any new information. She knows Callie because she was here for the opening of the clinic but she says she hasn't seen her since. She'd been on vacation so she isn't aware of whether or not Callie's been by here. She says the doctor in charge has gone into the city for supplies and that he's due back in the late afternoon. I gave her my cell information so he can call us as soon as he can so that I can see if he knows anything."

"What are we going to do in the meantime? I can't just sit around Aria, I have to do something!"

"Arizona, you have to calm down, ok? This is going to take time. We don't even have anything concrete to go on. You have to be patient. Let's go back to the hotel and wait for this doctor to call. Who knows, maybe he can lead us in the right direction."

Arizona slumped her arms in defeat as they headed back to the hotel. She could very well be closer to finding Callie, but at that moment she felt just as far away as the moment she read that letter.


	19. Chapter 16

**Hey peeps. Life got in the way... I really liked the beginning of this story and where it was going and then I also got hit with writer's block. Still, even though I've lost track of how long it's been since my last update, I do want to see this through. Thanks for all of you how have messaged me and are still interested in reading.**

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><p>The town, she knew, was a quiet place. The daily life here was nowhere near the hectic up and down of the Seattle metro area. Yes, you could sit here, surrounded by mountains, and not be interrupted by anything or anyone other than yourself.<p>

Callie had come to sit and watch the sunset after a long day. She'd been in Mexico for nearly one month and had ended up in this relatively tiny town. This wasn't exactly an ideal destination for a woman such as herself, yet she felt it quite fitting.

She'd left Seattle without looking back, knowing well that she was leaving the love of her life behind to battle her demons alone. Well, they were both battling their own demons. She hadn't wanted to put her wife through the agonizing months that were sure to come. George had died by jumping in front of a bus. That was George, the man she thought was supposed to be the love of her life. She'd loved George; though time had come to show he wasn't the person for her. Even so, when he'd died, it had hit her hard. She found herself disoriented, mourning the loss of a man she'd cared about so deeply. Arizona had been by her side through it all, trying to help in any way she could. If Callie felt pain for George's death, she couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose Arizona; it'd be too much to handle. Arizona was still young; she still had time to rebuild her life. It was a different kind of abandonment; one she thought would be less painful for her wife in the end… and so she'd gotten on a bus and started the long journey to Mexico.

She'd contemplated stopping in Miami, or at least calling her family to say some kind of goodbye, but in the end decided it was best to leave things as they were. It was better for no one to have a clue as to where she was, and she doubted anyone could find her _here. _She'd spoken to the clinic director and had voiced her wishes. She wanted to continue to practice medicine. She wanted to continue making a difference in people's lives. She'd give her knowledge and time to this small town in exchange for peace and secrecy. Carlos Torres still paid for the upkeep and maintenance of the clinic; she didn't want any news travelling back to her family. The doctor had insisted she get treated and had urged her to return to the States, but it had fallen on deaf ears. In the end, here she was: living in a tiny town in the middle of the Sierra Madre where most people had never even put their hands on a computer, let alone owned one. She was as far from technology as she could get while still surrounded by people.

Callie had thought back to the days when she'd first visited the small town. The sun would shine from above on cool August days. The dark nights in the middle of so many mountains had made her wish she'd packed a thicker blanket. The few days she'd spent in the area had been enough to show her just how much help she could be in a town like this. It was small and resources were scarce. Yes, she could do good here.

She put in all her efforts and every waking moment into the clinic; it quickly became the go-to place for all the neighboring villages. On occasion, she'd make a trip out to a neighboring town to handle a case in which the patient couldn't or didn't have the means to travel. She'd spent a week travelling from town to town, treating patients and making a list of inventory they'd need to stock the clinic. She'd felt a certain amount of satisfaction each time she helped another patient because she knew these people had little no money to put towards anything other than food and clothing. Her days were spent on her feet, working non-stop; physically exhausting herself since it was the only way to fathom attaining sleep at night.

She missed Arizona. She thought Africa had been it; Arizona had come back and after that debaucle they'd finally gotten together to not be separated again. She felt as if every time she blinked, the blonde's blue eyes were there to remind her of what she'd left behind. She could still _feel_ Arizona around her. She'd be standing against a counter at the clinic, looking over paperwork, and she could sense Arizona's presence next to her. Callie was grateful she'd gotten a small bed to sleep on. She didn't think she could handle sleeping on anything bigger than a twin knowing she was sleeping alone; knowing that every time she woke up and felt the space next to her all she would feel would be cold sheets.

It all made sense now; what Arizona had said. She was doing work, work that actually mattered. She was making a difference in so many lives, yet it didn't matter. Callie missed just being able to lay in bed and admire her wife as she slept beside her. There were so many things she missed about Arizona that another piece of her heart broke off each time she thought about her. Could she really do this? Could she really, _really_ stick with it and stay in Mexico forever?

She couldn't count the times she thought about driving to Chihuahua and hopping on a plane back to Seattle, back to her wife; yet she always managed to talk herself out of it. She'd left Arizona, end of story. How could she possibly think about going back? Even if she were to return and ask, beg and grovel for forgivness, why would Arizona want to take her back after what she'd put her through? No, there was no turning back this time. This wasn't a repeat of Africa; this was so much worse. This was the breaking of her wedding vows, complete abandonment, and the breaking of her wife's heart.

Today had been a particularly difficult day, which is why she continued sitting at her favorite place, seeking solace and what little comfort she could attain by her surroundings. A kid had gotten run over by a car after he'd run into the street chasing his soccer ball. The driver had not seen him and thankfully, had not been driving fast. Callie had been in the OR for a good portion of the day but had finally been able to inform the boy's parents that their son's legs were repaired and after some therapy he would walk again.

She constantly thought about Arizona; in truth she was all Callie ever thought about… yet today seemed different. It was as if Arizona had been there with her to help and guide her through the little boy's surgery, like she was closer to her somehow. Her heart felt different; not as heavy, and different somehow. She couldn't exactly explain what she was feeling, but whatever it was brought along with it some kind of comfort. In the end, she was still alone, and so she'd gone to her place to continue her everyday routine.

Callie slowly rose and headed back to her tiny house on the outskirts of Creel. Yes, she'd been born into money and she'd lived a comfortable life. Now however, she didn't really see the need nor did she desire wanting to live in a lavish home. She had what she needed: a place to sleep and eat, she didn't need more than that.

She arrived at home to a message on her door on behalf of a man she'd recently treated. Being far from a general surgeon, she could still offer some advice about the human body and treatment to the best of her ability. This particular man had recently had gall bladder surgery and was now having complications with an infection it seemed. Callie knew how painful it would be for an older man to move just a couple of days after surgery and so she grabbed her bag and went in search of the man's house. It was quite the simple fix; antibiotics and constant cleaning of the incision would keep the man out of trouble. One of the things she loved about treating in this particular town was that when she told her patients to do something, they'd do it… it made her job a lot easier.

She made her way back home a lot sooner than originally expected. Not being in the mood to cook today, she'd stopped at a local restaurant and picked herself up something for dinner. What drew her attention as she made it to her little house was a woman sitting on her front porch. She must have been hallucinating, because the woman twenty feet in front of her looked exactly like Arizona. The same blonde hair, height, overall body proportions. She just couldn't see her face. This stranger had her head down, hands wringed together. Still, something inside of her told Callie she wasn't hallucinating. The second she exited the car and shut her door, the blonde's head popped up and searched for her eyes. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, brown eyes met blue.

"Calliope…"


	20. Chapter 17

**It's a short one, but it's the beginning;)**

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><p>"Arizona…" Callie barely managed to get out before Arizona ran and clung onto her as if her life depended on it. She felt Arizona's weight on her, and wanted to melt into her embrace, yet something held her back. Arizona, noticing the stiff posture of her wife, let go, and looked into her eyes once again. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"<p>

"Really Calliope? You've been missing for WEEKS! That is the best you can come up with? How about you tell me why the hell I had to turn the world upside down to find you?" Arizona's blue eyes were nothing but ice daggers at her wife's less than welcoming statement.

"Ari listen to me…" Callie began…

Arizona started pacing as she began to lose her composure. "No Callie, don't 'Ari' me. Do you have any idea what you've put me through, what you've put everyone through? All of our friends and family haven't stopped looking for you. We called every hotel, hospital and police station in Seattle. I called every single hospital in the country I could possibly think of. Your father hired a private investigator! You left without a trace. The accounts were untouched; you barely even took anything with you. There was no possible way to track you down. We are married Calliope, WE TOOK VOWS. How could you just up and leave me, the family and life you had, without an explanation?"

"Arizona, please. Believe me when I tell you there's a very good reason why I did what I did. It may not seem like a good reason, but I didn't think I had another option…"

"I don't care what your reasons are Callie. We are married, and I meant every single word of my vows. 'I will be there for you every step of the way, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, until my last breath. I love you with all of my heart. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you forever. This is my solemn vow; on this day, I give you all of myself.' THOSE WEREN'T JUST WORDS TO ME! Did you think I was just going to let you go, just like that? Without any kind of explanation or anything that at least told me you were ok? Had it not been for Ruben, I might have never found you!"

"Ruben? Ruben Martinez? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He is the one that led me here Callie. I was in your old room back in Miami, going crazy, looking for anything that could give me the slightest idea of where to look for you. I came across all those pictures in your room, and after a conversation with him, Aria and I ended up here."

"Aria is here with you?"

"Yes, she wouldn't let me come to Mexico alone. She's waiting back at the hotel along with the bodyguards. It took a lot of convincing to get her to let me come see you alone; this part I needed to do alone. She is just as relieved as I am to know you're safe. We've all been so worried about you."

"I can't believe my sister is here. "

"Aria hasn't stopped looking for you since you disappeared, Callie. She's the one that spoke to the doctor at the clinic. It took a lot of convincing to have him finally admit you were here."

Callie had the decency to look ashamed at this.

"I can't even begin to explain what went through my mind the second I saw that letter on the nightstand. My body and brain shut down; I couldn't think straight. My worst nightmare came true. Not only that, it was a betrayal of trust and it hurt me deeply Calliope. I trusted you, my wife, with something so important to me, something that makes me so weak and vulnerable. I trusted that by telling you the dreams I was having, we could work through the trouble together. I didn't tell you then, the entirety of my dreams… and it does no good to bring it up now. But believe me when I tell you that the last few weeks without you, now knowing whether you were even dead or alive, in danger or I don't know what… our friends had me nearly committed to the psych ward. Can you grasp what I'm trying to tell you? Do you have any idea just how badly it hurt me that you didn't trust me or our relationship enough to tell me what was going on with you? Whatever it was, I could've helped you. I'm your wife. I told you, I'm in this for the long run. I know that we've had our troubles and that I have run in the past, but you see this? _Arizona lifted her left hand and put it before Callie's eyes. _The day you placed this on my finger was the day the rest of my life was cemented… with yours."

She took Callie's left hand in hers, and saw that Callie's rings were missing. Hurt washed over her entire body as she realized Callie had all but forgotten her commitment. After so long, she had finally found her wife. She thought the hard part, finding her, was over. She never thought there would be any doubt of Callie's feelings towards her, of their mutual feelings towards one another. It took everything, all the fight she had left in her to not break down right then and there. She needed to keep her composure for this… she needed to get through this last question. She needed to ask it, though she wasn't sure she was ready to hear the answer. How her life could have gotten so messed up, she had no idea. She took in a shuddering breath and steadied herself before looking up and searching for Callie's eyes once more.

"I need to know one thing Calliope. Look at me." It took a few seconds, but Callie lifted her gaze and looked deep into the blue eyes she'd dreamed of for weeks on end.

"Do you still love me?"


	21. Chapter 18

**I know I'm going to drive all of you crazy with the short updates... but I got this story going on in my brain and it won't let me sleep... I'm still adjusting to a new work schedule so I figure shorter updates are better than nothing right? Don't want to make everyone wait an eternity again! Thanks for reading! Thank you for all the reviews! Keep them coming!=)**

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><p>Callie looked into Arizona's deep, worried blue eyes and she felt the insecurity in her voice the moment the words escaped Arizona's lips. She lifted her left hand to her neck and pulled at a small chain that until now had gone unnoticed by the blonde, wedding and engagement ring now visible.<p>

"Of course I still love you Ari. I truly am sorry that I'm not wearing my rings, but there are actually two reasons as to why I wear them around my neck."

Seeing the rings Arizona visibly relaxed, if only momentarily as she braced herself yet again for an explanation.

"I wear them around my neck because this isn't the safest of places. This type of valuable jewelry isn't seen around here, and I needed to keep a low profile and blend in with everyone else as much as possible. Truly, that is the least important reason. The most important to me, is that I've betrayed you in such a way, that I don't feel I deserve to wear these rings. I remember that day too, you know. I remember the vows I made to you. _'__You are my affinity, my life, my forever. I promise to honor and cherish you, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. I love you Ari. This is my solemn vow; on this day, I give you all of myself.' _I knew the moment I left that apartment that I broke the very foundation of our relationship: trust and commitment. There's something I have to tell you; come inside with me."

She took Arizona by the hand and led her into the small house. No one had actually set foot in there before, Arizona was the first person other than her herself to see the modest accommodations she now lived in.

To say that she was a bit surprised by what she saw was an understatement. Arizona knew what it meant to be a 'Torres' and after the years she'd spent with Callie, she knew her wife's taste. After arriving in Creel and taking in her surroundings, she hadn't expected Callie to be living in something resembling their home back in Seattle, but she never expected to see such a small place. Callie's house could fit in their living area back home. There was one main room; a door to what Arizona assumed was the bathroom off to the back. She could see a curtain pulled over a group of shelves that housed Callie's clothes, twin bed to the side, a small table with a couple of chairs in front of the tiny stove, fridge and sink, and that was about it. A little nightstand rested at the foot of the bed; a photo of Arizona sitting at their bench smiling and looking out towards what she knew to be the Seattle skyline was the only thing on it. They had still been dating at the time; it was one of the most memorable days of the two before their relationship had turned serious.

Callie had set about getting them something to drink. She noticed as Arizona looked around and quickly took in her surroundings, her eyes finally landing on the photo of herself. That was the only piece of 'decoration' Callie had around the house. Arizona was quiet, her eyes not deviating from the photograph. Callie walked up beside her and handed her a beer. She knew Arizona preferred wine, but she didn't have any so the beer would have to do.

"All I need to see you is to close my eyes, but I needed a photo of you. You're the last person I see when I go to sleep, and the first I see when I wake up. I know that it's nothing in comparison to having you in my arms as I go to sleep, but I needed something." Callie put her arm on Arizona's shoulder and turned her so that they were facing one another. "It's difficult to see my point of view Ari, I know, especially when you don't know the whole story, but please, whatever happens, NEVER doubt my love for you… please?"

The tears Arizona had held in since the moment she noticed the missing rings were finally released as she wrapped her arms around her estranged wife. Both women wrapped their arms around one another and just stood there, soaking in each other's presence. Arizona, knowing she had to make the first move, put her hand around Callie's upper neck and brought her in for a slow, tender kiss. It was brief, but it spoke volumes for both women as each poured their heart and soul into it. Callie pulled their lips apart and rested her forehead against Arizona's for the briefest of moments before leading her to sit beside her on the bed.

"Arizona… the reason I left, _how I left_ is unforgiveable, I know. You trusted me with everything you had, and then some. I was at work that day. It was like any other work day really. Case after case had kept me occupied for the majority of my shift. Some labs have been ordered for one of my patients. I was running around the hospital like a chicken without a head because my services were needed everywhere it seemed. Kepner had picked up labs for me and I read them without realizing that one of them happened to be my own test results. In it I found out I was terminal…"

Arizona decided she was finally going to speak up. "Callie… that's the who-"

"No Arizona let me finish. I need to get this out. I was in a state of shock. I didn't know what to do or how to react. I transferred my patients to Hunt and left the hospital as quickly as I could. I walked around aimlessly; I didn't realize I was at _our place _until I stood before the bench overlooking the city. It was then that I realized that I couldn't stay. I couldn't do that to you. I know we promised, we made vows, in sickness and in health. I know how much you love me, and I know that had I stayed, you would've taken care of me, watched over me and continued to love me until my dying breath because that's what I would've done for you… but I couldn't do it. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was putting you through so much pain knowing that it wasn't going to end well. I sat there Ari, I thought about so many things. What would happen when I couldn't operate anymore? When I couldn't take care of myself anymore and would need round the clock care? I couldn't ask for you to give up your career for however long, I couldn't and didn't want to make you put your career and your life on hold for me. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make… and I'll never forgive myself for it."

"Calliope, I know everything. I've known about your test results for weeks."

"What? How?"

"I had seen Lucy in the cafeteria and she said your results were perfectly fine. I went to the lab and requested a copy and they gave me a copy of what they'd given you. It was then when I realized that you had been given incorrect information, and everything made sense since then. Calliope, _there is nothing wrong with you_. All your tests, everything was within limits; your results were mixed up with another woman's. You're not sick!"

Callie had listened intently as Arizona gave her explanation, and her face slowly started registering acknowledgement.

"I know."


	22. Chapter 19

**Here's another peeps! I know it's short, but it's gotten the point across. I've got a ridiculously busy weekend ahead and I knew I wouldn't be able to update so I figured I'd try to squeeze in a small chapter for you all. The story really is nearing its end. Thanks for all the reviews! There are some very valid points out there! Thanks for reading!**

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><p>"Wait a second… what did you say? YOU KNOW?" Arizona asked incredulously.<p>

"Yes, I do." Callie replied.

"How can you be so calm about this Callie? I can't believe you just said that to me. How long has it been since you've known?" Arizona asked, not really sure she wanted to know the real answer.

"I've known for about 3 weeks." Callie replied. There was more, of course, but she didn't even know what to say at this point. Arizona was rightfully angry; she doubted anything she said would help calm the blonde.

"I can't believe this." Arizona started pacing again, anxiety and anger coursing through her body. "You've known for 3 weeks and you didn't bother to do anything about it? You stayed here, when you could've gone back home, or at least contacted someone, ME!"

Arizona sat down, elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Her world was completely spinning out of control. She didn't know what to think or do. Callie had known, for nearly a month she had known there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Those three weeks had been hell on earth, looking for her, worrying about her safety and wellbeing and all the while here she was, in freaking Mexico, with the knowledge that could've brought her home. Of all the things that could've come out of Callie's mouth, this was completely unexpected, and something she wasn't quite ready to handle. Blood pounded in her ears and head and it was getting difficult to breathe. She tried to take a few deep breaths to calm her down to no avail. She stood once again.

"I can't do this. I can't believe you would do this to me! Does your life with me not matter to you? Everything we've been through, everything we've shared, the life we were trying to build? You really don't care, do you? If you did, you would've at least gone back to Seattle the moment you knew there was nothing wrong with you. I would've forgiven you then; for running out on me, on your vows, on our life together. But this… how do you expect me to react to this Callie? How can I trust a word that comes out of your mouth after what you've told me? You say that you love me, but how I can I believe that when you didn't even make an attempt to come back to me?"

Arizona no had tears streaming down her face and it made her even more angry that she couldn't control herself. Callie didn't know what to do, whether to try to console her wife or if that was just going to make it that much worse.

"It's so much more complicated than that Arizona. Do you really believe that I didn't think of going back to Seattle and begging for your forgiveness every single day? Do you think that my life here is better than what we had together?"

"I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that you've kept things from me, and blocked me out without even giving me the chance to be a part of it. I am your WIFE. I was supposed to be there for it all. I WANTED to be there for you."

"Wanted?"

"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think after what you've told me. All I know is I can't be here anymore. I can't stay here, fighting for someone who couldn't care less about saving our relationship."

"Arizona…"

"NO, you don't get to do this now. You had your chance, 3 weeks ago, you had your chance. You could've come back to me, and you didn't. You chose to stay here, for whatever reason. So stay."

"Where are you going?"

"Where else am I going to go Calliope? I'm going back to Seattle where I belong. I've put everything on hold long enough. Kids depend on me; I can't let them down because of this."

Arizona walked to the door, opened it and left without looking back. Had she done so, she would've seen Callie with tears streaming down her eyes, collapsing on the tiny bed, whispering what she hadn't told her wife.

"I'm pregnant."


	23. Chapter 20

"Callie! I'm so glad you're ok! I'm going to kick your ass for worrying us all!" Aria wrapped her arms around her older sister, thanking the high heavens she'd finally been found, even if it was under such bad circumstances. "Now do you want to explain to me why the hell Arizona is on her way back home, ALONE?" Aria stepped aside so Callie could enter the hotel room.

"What do you mean Aria? Arizona's already gone?" Callie couldn't hide the shocked look that came over her face. "It didn't take long to five out where you were staying; I thought Arizona would still be here."

"Yes, she left like 5 minutes after she got here. All she said was that you were fine, and that she was returning to Seattle… that she couldn't wait. I made her take one of the bodyguards with her. I told her to take the jet; it's going to drop her off in Seattle and then come back for us… you are still coming with me right? I mean, what the hell are you doing here Callie? What happened with you and Arizona and why did she leave alone?"

"Damnit! I've screwed this all up! I can't believe I'm such an idiot Aria! Arizona told me what happened with the results I got in Seattle, which they'd gotten mixed up with some other patient's… and I told her that I knew. When I told her how long I'd known for, she exploded, with reason of course, but I didn't think she'd be gone in the blink of an eye. I need to talk to her!"

"What do you mean Cal, how long have you known for?"

"About 3 weeks."

"3 weeks? 3 WEEKS? ¿Pero qué te pasa hermana, estás loca? ¿Cómo es posible que después de tanto tiempo no le hayas hablado ni regresado a tu casa?" Apparently ranting in Spanish when upset was something common in the Torres family.

"Aria, it's complicated, ok? I know 3 weeks is a long time, but I just couldn't tell her, not just by showing up in Seattle without some kind of explanation. I've been trying to think of a way to explain myself and she just beat me to it. Now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost her."

"You have to start somewhere Cal. Why don't you explain what the hell is going on in that head of yours and see if I can provide some kind of opinion or advice?"

"Ay hermanita, that's going to be a tough one."

"Try me."

Callie by now had sat on the edge of the sofa, facing her sister who sat beside her. She knew Aria's reaction wasn't going to be a good one either, and so she prepared herself for the news to sink in.

"I'm pregnant."

Aria's facial expression was priceless.

"You're going to have to explain here sis… You're pregnant, and you didn't bother telling her or go back home? Congratulations, by the way. Give me a hug!"

"I messed up Aria, bad. I know I did. I didn't tell Arizona what I'd done. We've been trying to get pregnant for months! I had made an appointment with Lucy Fields, our gynecologist and specialist with IVF treatments. She'd requested more blood work, but had previously said everything was ok. I was desperate. There were so many months of disappointment that came with each negative test result that I was looking into anything and everything. Arizona and I had carefully gone through hundreds if not thousands of donors, looking for one that we both liked. It was his sperm that was used to work the IVF, but I also used it myself. I woke up one day with a feeling. Something felt different that day, like anything I tried was going to work. I got the same man's sperm and did artificial insemination. "

"That sounds a little far-fetched Cal, I don't know if Arizona is going to really believe that."

"Call it what you want Aria, but that's what happened. I didn't have any trouble getting it; money talks and that's pretty much one of the only things I've ever used my trust fund on. I can't really explain my reasoning, _something _inside me told me it would work. It wasn't until a few days later that I got my test results and all my hope went out the window. I all but forgot about the insemination until I started feeling nauseous and throwing up weeks later."

"Ok Cal, so that's what happened. Why didn't you try to come back then?"

"Because what I did to Arizona was unforgiveable. She trusted me with one of her deepest fears and insecurities, and I left her. I abandoned her and our life together after I vowed not to. I wanted to go back, I did… but how was I just going to show up on our doorstep and tell her I was back AND pregnant? I needed a plan. I needed to find the right words to be able to face her and beg forgiveness… I just never expected her to find me first."

"Ayayay Cal, this is way too much information to process. Still, the most important thing here is that you're alive and well, and that I'm going to be an auntie! Arizona will forgive you. She loves you! I know it may not be an easy thing for her to handle, but she is a good person, she will forgive. It's not going to be easy with anyone. I called papá to tell him we'd found you and that you were ok. I didn't tell him what happened with Arizona; I just told him we'd be getting you stateside soon. He's eager to see you, as well as mamá and the rest of the family. I'm sure your friends and family in Seattle are feeling the same way."

"I know I've let everyone down. I wish I could turn back time and have this just be one big nightmare. At this point Aria, I'm not worried about anyone else but Arizona. She is my life. She is my world. I can't continue being without her, especially now.." Callie said, her hands protectively wrapped around her stomach. "I should've stopped her. I should've told her. Now I'm afraid I may be too late. I need to get to Seattle Aria, as soon as possible. I need to see Arizona. I need to tell her that we're having a baby, and I need to beg for her forgiveness."

"I'm all packed Cal… let's get out of here."

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><p><strong>I know what you all are going to say... very far-fetched. But it's fiction and I'm sticking to it. Two chapters left peeps! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	24. Chapter 21

"So what's going to happen to you two? I mean, you're here, and you left Callie in Mexico. Is that it? Is that the end of your relationship? You're going to let her go that easily?" Teddy asked Arizona as she drove the blonde home from the airport.

Arizona sat quietly in the passenger side of Teddy's car, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. She hadn't stopped crying since she left the hotel; and now she felt as if she was at her wits' end.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Teddy; I just can't deal with it right now. The feelings that are consuming me right now aren't exactly ones that would make forgiving Callie an easy thing to do. She betrayed me. She lied and disappeared. How would you feel if Henry had done that to you?"

Teddy sat quietly, thinking as she drove. "I see your point. But really Arizona, do yourself a favor… don't make any rash decisions without at least hearing her out. I know you may feel as if she doesn't deserve it. She probably doesn't deserve your compassion or forgiveness right now, but you don't want to throw away your marriage and your relationship without at least hearing her out. I've been here through a lot of your ups and downs, and I can unequivocally say that Callie loves you as much as you love her. Give her the benefit of the doubt and at least hear, really listen to what she has to say."

"I told her to stay in Mexico, Teddy. At this point I don't even know if she's coming back."

"Arizona, listen to me… you _know _Callie is on her way back to you. She had started her explanation and you cut her off. Do you think she's going to just let you go like that, after all of this?"

"She did it before; how do I know she isn't going to do it again? My heart can't take this again Teddy, I can't take this again!"

"I know that Z, which is why I'm taking you home. You have to try to relax as much as possible. Try to clear your head so that you can think soundly when she comes. One thing I think we both know for sure, is that Callie is on her way back to you as we speak."

"Thank you for this Teds; I really needed someone to talk to."

"That's what best friends are for."

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><p>Callie was terrified of public speaking, absolutely terrified. There wasn't a single thing she could think of she disliked more. It's not like speaking to Arizona was going to take place in front of an audience, but the pressure she felt knowing she had a long way to go to get forgiveness from her wife had her behaving worse than if she had to give a speech in front of the whole world.<p>

Aria had decided to come along for moral support. She'd agreed that once they landed in Seattle, she would head towards the Archfield to give Callie and Arizona some time to talk and then would hear from Callie later. Callie was grateful that at least she had her sister by her side to support her after everything that had happened; she really thought she'd lost everyone.

She didn't know exactly where to start, what to say. Was she just supposed to walk up to their home, look her in the eye and say she was pregnant? Would that get Arizona to listen to her? Would that drive her farther away? She needed to speak from the heart, she knew at least that much… she only begged that Arizona would be willing to listen to her.

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><p>Callie stood outside the door of their home, again finding herself in a predicament. She shot another prayer up to God to help her out, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.<p>

Arizona had been sitting in their bedroom, a box of tissues on the nightstand and a cup of tea at her side. Tea wasn't exactly her poison, yet Teddy had only left with the condition that Arizona drink a cup of tea to help soothe her nerves. She didn't have to drink it, yet she found the hot liquid to be a bit more relaxing than originally thought and had started on a second cup when she heard a knock at the door.

She wasn't exactly in the mood to see anyone, so she ignored them, hoping that they'd get the hint and go away. A couple of minutes passed before she heard the knock at her door again. Nothing… The third knock was a little more persistent, so she finally got up out of bed and headed towards the front entrance, ready to tell whoever was at the door to stop pestering and leave her the hell alone.

"I'm not in the mood for company right n— Calliope? What are you doing here? Aren't you— I told you to stay in Mexico."

"Arizona please, we need to talk."

"We already did enough talking. I think I heard enough around the time you said you'd known there was nothing wrong with you. Please Calliope, leave me alone. Just leave." Arizona stated, eyes and voice pleading the brunette for space.

"I'm not leaving Arizona, not again. So either you let me in so we can talk or I'll just say everything I have to say through the door until you hear me; I don't care if the entire floor hears me in the process."

Arizona let go of the door handle and walked back towards the couch, her back to Callie. She went and sat on the chair, not wanting to give her wife the opportunity to sit next to her; she couldn't handle having the Latina's body against her own at this moment.

Callie closed the door, locked it, and followed her wife into the living area. The seating arrangement did not go unnoticed by the Latina and she felt her heart drop for the smallest of instants. She'd at least gotten through the door; the rest she would have to earn. She took a seat on the couch adjacent to Arizona's and thought about her opening words as she settled in.

"Arizona, I know what I said in Mexico. I have known there's nothing wrong with me for several weeks now…"

"If we're going to have the same conversation we had in Mexico Callie, you can leave now. I don't need to hear the same thing over and over."

"Please, PLEASE just hear me out. There's something I have to tell you. You didn't give me the chance to do so back in Chihuahua, and I need you to know this Arizona. I need you to know the whole story… please?"

This time it was Callie's eyes who were pleading as she took Arizona's hands in hers and begged to be heard. She took it as a good sign when Arizona didn't push her hands away, or remove hers from Callie's grasp. The blonde had shut down, that much was perfectly clear. Callie just wanted to blurt out that she was pregnant to get her attention, but she didn't know how that would go over; so she opted for the explanation.

"I know how this is going to sound before I say this, ok? I know it sounds crazy, I've been telling myself that for the past month. Knowing this, I need you to at least hear the whole thing before you make your decision. I know it isn't easy for you to do this, and you've no idea what it means to me that you are willing to listen to me Ari; I know I don't deserve it."

"You better start making sense Callie, or I may just change my mind."

"You were right about what happened with the results. I did get an incorrect copy, or one that was mixed up with another woman's; but I didn't realize this until I was already in Mexico."

"Why didn't you do anything about it?"

"I found out that it was all a misunderstanding, because I took another set of tests, this time for different reasons."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how long we'd been trying to get pregnant Arizona; how many negative results we lived through."

"What does previous testing have to do with thi-… you're pregnant?" Arizona asked, already knowing the answer by the look on her wife's face.

Callie did nothing but nod her head, internally wishing her wife let her explain.

Seeing the confirmation of her train of thought brought a jolt down Arizona's spine down to her very core. They were pregnant… Callie was pregnant with their child. She wanted to kiss her wife, hug her and be happy that their wish had finally come true, but something held her back. Wait… her train of thought hit a fog. Callie was pregnant… how had she gotten pregnant? Had she slept with someone in Mexico? How could she know if this was even _their _child? No, Arizona couldn't fathom such a thought. Callie wouldn't be here if that were the case and it would be too painful. She realized there was more to this story than Callie had originally let on. The original feeling of euphoria settled down as she looked at Callie straight in the eyes as she restrained herself from making any movements.

"How did you get pregnant Calliope?" Arizona asked, her voice as level as she could possibly make it.

"I know what you're thinking Arizona, you don't have to voice that question. This baby is yours… ours. It was created from the very sperm you and I had chosen; just not in the way we were going about it."

"You're not making any sense Calliope. Explain this to me."

"This baby wasn't conceived via IVF treatment, but via artificial insemination. A few days after I took the tests Lucy had ordered, I went to the cyrobank and had a procedure done."

"Why?"

"I woke up with a feeling that morning, like it was the day to try again. I can't explain it, it was just a feeling I had in my gut, like I HAD to go. I felt in my very being that it would work this time."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could've gone with you. I would've been there to support you."

"Because we'd already hit so many walls with negative after negative test. I didn't want you to have to go through that again. I thought that if I tried it and it worked this time, it would keep you from feeling any more hurt with negative tests and we could finally be on our way to building our little family."

"Why did you leave then?"

"Because I honestly believed I was dying. I didn't want to put you through that kind of pain Ari.I didn't want to burden you with awaited me."

"That wasn't your decision to make Calliope, it was mine! You didn't even give me the chance!"

"I know, and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"What happened in Mexico?"

"A couple of weeks passed before I started feeling sick. I was constantly nauseous and throwing up. Certain smells in the clinic made me rush to the bathroom. It wasn't until one of the nurses jokingly told me to take a pregnancy test that it hit me. Up until that point I had all but forgotten about the artificial insemination. So I did blood work and it was then that I found out that the only thing different about my body was that I was now pregnant."

"And you've known that for 3 weeks."

"Yes."

"So why didn't you come home then?"

"I was ashamed of myself for what I'd done to you. I didn't know what to do."

"You could've come home Calliope, that's what you could've done."

"What was I going to say Arizona? 'I'm here, please take me back, oh and I'm pregnant'?"

"Don't you think that coming back and at least talking to me about this would've been better than what has happened between us now?"

"I wanted to come back. I was going to come back. I just needed to sort my thoughts out, figure out what I was going to say to you."

"When were you planning on doing that, when enough time had passed that would then have you showing or after the baby was already born? How can I believe you were planning on coming back at all?"

"I wanted to come back as soon as possible; I just couldn't find the words."

"Maybe words weren't what you needed. Words, after all, can mean nothing. Actions speak louder than words ever could. I mean, you told me time and again, reassured me that you wouldn't leave me and look where we are."

"Arizona, I know what I did is wrong, but please believe me that I only did it to keep you from hurting more. I thought I was protecting you!"

"Protecting me? Protecting me from what? Seeing you hurt? I told you that from the beginning Calliope, the very day we took our vows, I was in this for the long run, until my dying breath. I would've taken care of you, done anything and everything you could possibly need. I would've given everything for you. What am I supposed to believe now?"

"This isn't the way we pictured it, I know. But this is your baby too, our baby… I want to make this work with you. I love you with all my heart Ari, and I want you to be this baby's mother, just like we'd planned all along."

"I don't want you to misinterpret my words Calliope. Words cannot express just how happy I am that you're pregnant, because I know we've wanted that, that you've wanted that for a very long time. To know that in a few short months you'll be a mom brings me great joy, because I know you're going to be an amazing mother; but I don't know if I can do this, not anymore."

"What do you mean Ari? I love you, and I know you love me. I know we can get past this. If you can just find it in your heart to forgive what I've done, we can go back to our lives, be happy with our baby."

"There's nothing I'd like more than to continue my life with you and form the family we've talked about Calliope, I just don't think I can trust you anymore. What kind of relationship will that be? What kind of environment is that going to be for the baby? You need to be calm and rested, not agitated in any way… how can we make this work when I can't blindly trust you the way I once did?"

Both women were now crying. They were at a crossroads which didn't exactly lead them to where they wanted to go. Callie had gone one step too far and Arizona had pulled away. How could they find their way back to one another again?

"Arizona, I love you, with all of my heart. I know that there never was and there never will be anyone else for me to love the way I love you. You and this baby are the reason for my existence. I want you to be there, I want you to be a part of my plan, our plan. I want to continue our lives and I want you to be this baby's mom. I will do whatever it takes, anything to get back to where we were. Tell me, please, I'm begging you. What can I do? What can I give you that will help you see that what I speak is true?"

"Time, Calliope. I need time."

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><p><strong>It's not the end yet peeps... last chapter coming up soon! Thanks for reading! Where do you think this is headed?<strong>


	25. Epilogue

**I'd like to take this moment to thank everyone who has stuck with this story to the very end. I'm sorry that I kept you guys waiting for so long at times. I've no words to express just how great it felt getting your reviews and pms; they encouraged me to continue writing for you all. I have thought about the possibility of continuing to write, but I'm still thinking about it. There are so many gifted writers on here; there are times when I feel inadequate in comparison lol. As always, thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you all thought about the story overall!**

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><p>"Noah Robbins-Torres, what did momma tell you about sitting at the table? Feet down." Callie called from her place in front of the stove.<p>

"Sí mami." Two and a half year old Noah reluctantly got out of his Indian-style sitting position on the chair and sat up straight, his little legs still dangling at least a foot off the ground.

"There we go little man, don't you want to grow up being a perfect little gentleman?" Arizona asked as she placed a plate with a couple of funny shaped pancakes in front of her son.

"Yes momma, I do." Her son replied right before digging into his breakfast.

Arizona cut up Noah's pancakes before going back to the counter to retrieve plates and mugs for the delicious breakfast Callie was preparing while the Latina finished up her famous chocolate chip pancakes with eggs, bacon, and toast for the adults.

"What time are you going in today?" Arizona asked as she poured coffee into their respective mugs and filled a cup of milk for Noah.

"I'm going in at 9 today. Do you want me to drop him off at daycare or are you going to take care of it?" Callie replied.

"No, I'm off today, remember?" Arizona said as she sat back down at the table to help her son with breakfast. "This little man and I have a park date today, don't we kiddo?" She asked her son.

"Yes momma, I want to go play!" Noah replied eagerly.

"Ok, but you have to be a big boy and finish your breakfast. Then we'll say bye to mami and go to the park, ok?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Arizona, the kid is _too_ polite. He's two years old; don't you think we ought to cut him some slack?"

"No Calliope, I think it's great that he's learned to be polite at a young age. Besides, you know how I was raised in a military family. I'm not planning on being so strict with Noah, but if we start early, he'll surprise us as he grows with his manners, you'll see."

"I have no doubt about it; he's the best-behaved kid I know, and I'm not being biased."

"That's the plan."

The small family finished breakfast, Arizona and Callie making conversation about recent surgeries and what their schedules were going to be like in following days. The time soon came for Callie to go to work so she took off while Arizona stayed to clean up and get their son ready for a fun time at the park.

It was a beautiful spring day that greeted mother and son once they set foot outside their car and headed to the play area. Noah was always quick at making friends and made his way over to his little circle of friends while Arizona sat down, coffee in hand, and watched her son play. As she sat and kept a watchful eye on her son, Arizona began to think back to the 3 years of her life before this…

It had been a grueling time in the Robbins-Torres household before the arrival of little Noah. Though Arizona never missed a single doctor appointment, ultrasound, Lamaze class or a midnight run for one of Callie's crazy cravings, it had still been far from easy for the couple to adjust. Callie had been allowed back into their home due to the state she was in after several weeks, but had occupied the guest room and it had remained that way until further notice. Arizona loved and missed her, Callie knew, but she also completely understood the way the blonde had felt about the betrayal of trust and hadn't once questioned their living arrangements. It was only a few days after Noah was able to sleep through the night that the blonde had moved out. Mark and Lexie had married and had moved out of his place only a month or so before, so she moved into the apartment across the hall to be close to her son. The wounds were still too fresh to question her actions, and so Callie, heartbroken, had let her go.

It's not that she was far away; being across the hall was as close as she could get without actually living there. Both mothers had set up a room for their son, though the one in Callie's apartment was the more 'fixed up' of the nurseries. Noah didn't want for anything with either of them. Once Callie had stopped breastfeeding, he started spending time at both their apartments. They still did things together, still went to his checkups together, had meals and play dates together, but at the end of the day each woman went back to her own home.

Since they had never gotten officially married, there was no divorce to be had, and neither woman had ever brought up the power of attorneys and other documents both had signed designating the other as the one to make the decisions or keep Noah in the event something happened to the other. They still wore their wedding bands, and though it had been a lonely three years, neither woman ever dated anyone else.

In truth, there was nobody else, and they both knew it. They were both in love just as much if not more than their wedding day. Callie gave Arizona all the freedom she needed to be able to freely trust her again. She never pushed the blonde for anything. Arizona was always there. She was a wonderful mother and neither of them ever made it seem like there was something wrong with their relationship in front of their son. Everybody knew, of course, that they had had their trouble from the day Arizona had moved out but had since fallen into a comfortable life together with their son… there was just that one huge piece of the puzzle missing.

They were occasionally affectionate with one another, a hug or kiss here and there. Both felt their soul ache for more, but Callie knew that it was Arizona who had to make the move now. She had screwed up enough, and it was up to her wife to determine which path their relationship was going to take.

The rest of the day was spent peacefully. Arizona returned with Noah from the park, bathed and dressed him, and continued their day of fun. She sat and played games with him which would further develop his cognitive abilities. The trick was to get him to like activities that were educational and engaging. He was like a sponge, picking up everything she threw his way easily. Callie was teaching him to speak Spanish while Arizona worked on further developing his English vocabulary. They knew five languages between the two of them, and would introduce more to Noah as he grew.

Noah never ceased to amaze her. Every time she looked into his eyes it was like seeing her Calliope. He had inherited her deep brown eyes, dark hair and facial expressions. His skin tone was lighter than Callie's but there was no mistaking it; he was his mother's son. There were times when she wished there was another addition to their family, so that Noah wouldn't have to grow up alone, but she knew that if that were to happen, she and her wife would have to be on different terms.

Callie got out of work later that evening and stopped by Arizona's, the usual when it was the blonde's day off. Arizona had vastly improved her cooking abilities and was setting the last of the dinner on the table as she heard a knock on the door before a key was inserted into the lock, announcing the arrival of her wife. It was a habit of theirs; each had a key to the other's apartment but thought it best to knock anyway before entering as a courtesy.

They ate dinner while Callie asked Noah about his day and the activities he and 'momma' had done together. Arizona watched the interaction between the two with a smile on her face. It was a true miracle to see the love of her life and the mini male version of her Calliope; it made her heart swell and ache for more simultaneously. It was then that she felt ready.

Callie put Noah to bed and returned to the living room, a smile lighting up her face.

"He's down for the night. I still find it hard to believe kids have so much energy!"

"You should've seen him at the park today; I didn't think he'd ever get tired! Would you like to stay a while? Have another glass of wine with me?" Arizona asked.

"I'd love to." Callie replied.

Both women sat on the sofa and basked in the comfortable silence for a while. It wasn't for another few minutes before Arizona spoke.

"So I've been thinking…" she began.

"Oh, about what?" Callie replied.

"The lease on this apartment is up at the end of the month."

"How long are you going to renew it for?" Callie asked, bracing herself for the answer. They were doing well, but didn't want to make any assumptions.

"Well, I actually thought that I could let it go. I know it's been a long three years Callie. You've no idea what I feel, knowing you've never pressured me into anything this whole time. I'm sure you know how it's been to stay away from you for this long because I know that you still love me, I feel it every day."

"I do love you Ari, more than I can possibly say. But I don't want to pressure you into anything. I want you to be sure, be ready when you take that next step."

"I've done a lot of thinking lately. Noah is only going to get older and before we know it he's going to start asking questions about our living arrangements. It's not just because of that. I love you; I've never stopped loving you. I want to start again; I want to live my life with you and our son, under one roof. I want to come home Calliope."

Callie wrapped her arms around her wife and gently kissed her lips.

"You _are_ home, Ari. Home is where the heart is, and it's been with me, and mine with you this whole time. I don't care where we live. I just know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our son and making you happy."

"So I can come back home?"

"Yes baby; let's go home."


End file.
